


Satellite Call

by erisgregory



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Michael is an Escort, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shameless Smut, Unsafe Sex, mixed feelings about sex work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-03-01 05:59:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18794380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erisgregory/pseuds/erisgregory
Summary: Alex is home from the air force but finds he is as lonely as ever. He engages an escort one night under a pseudonym and when the escort arrives it's his high school love, Michael Guerin. Thankfully for both of them Michael is a professional. However one night couldn't possibly make up for all they've missed. Can they keep an ongoing relationship professional? Can they learn to trust that there is something more than this transaction between them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, here it is, I'm finally getting this started. I hope to do regular updates with longer chapters but I haven't quite decided how long this will be. Come find me on tumblr under the same name and cry with me about escort!Michael any time.

Choosing an escort wasn’t something Alex could say he’d ever thought he do. Other people did things like that. Alex was a clean cut guy straight out of the air force with an honorable discharge and several commendations to boot. He did what was right, not just what was expected of him. He drove the speed limit, he tipped well, he stayed out of trouble.

Times were tough though and he was alone back in this stupid small minded town. There probably weren’t enough gay guys to go around as it was, at least not enough that were out and dating, but there definitely weren’t any willing to date a guy with part of his leg missing. Not that Alex was out and dating, but that was beside the point. The point was, he was alone and that wasn’t changing any time soon.

It didn’t seem to matter that the town had welcomed him back a hero with a parade and accompanying pomp and circumstance, he was still that weird gay guy in some people’s eyes and worse now he was that crippled gay guy. He hated the way people stared at him whenever he tried to go out.

So he’d given up, this was him giving up, really. He was lonely and he was desperate, and yeah this must be what hitting rock bottom felt like. His dad would be real proud of him now. He was a real Manes man. Jesus his dad could never find out. Only Maria knew and that was how Alex planned to keep it.

Maria knew because she knew the agency. Some of the escorts used her bar as a safe place to meet clients and so she’d set him up with the phone number. It had taken him two and half weeks to call.

After an initial interview followed by a vetting by the escort themselves through an email questioneer, Alex was approved. Under a pseudonym of course because he wasn’t trying to be turned down by an escort, that would just be the icing on the cake.

So now he waited in the motel for his “date”. They weren’t actually even going out, where would they go? Alex didn’t care to be seen with anyone anyway. The looks he got when he was alone were bad enough, he couldn’t imagine strolling into the bar or the diner with a guy on his arm. So maybe this was for the best all around.

His escort, also using what he assumed was a pseudonym because Johnny, _really_ , was already apprised of Alex’s troubles. Not just his leg but his PTSD in case things got too intense in a weird way for some reason. They’d also set up a safe word. Alex was sure he wouldn’t need it, they weren’t going to be doing anything kinky per se, but it’d been a long time since anyone had touched him for more than a quick handy behind the barracks. It was there in case it was all just too much.

It was almost time, eleven o’clock, so Alex down a second glass of whiskey and left the bottle on the table. He only had the tacky little plastic cups provided by the motel, but he’d set out two just in case. Alex had no idea what it was going to be like with Johnny, if he’d want a drink, if he’d even want to talk, but he hoped they could ease into things. 

His nerves were jangling, even after the hot shower he’d had and the now two glasses of whiskey. So when the knock came on the door, it took a moment for him to get up the guts to go actually open it. His hand actually shook as he reached for the handle, wondering just who was on the other side.

There was nothing on earth that could have prepared him for the man standing on the threshold. Johnny was in reality Michael Guerin and the world went right out from under Alex’s feet. He had to hold on to the door just to stay on his feet and the only thing that kept him from total embarrassment was the look on Guerin’s face, it really must have matched his own.


	2. Chapter 2

Michael felt frozen on the doorstep. This wasn’t some random guy named Rick, this was Alex fucking Manes. His client was Alex Manes. It wasn’t computing and Alex was standing there staring at him, his mouth half open and Michael knew he needed to say something, anything at this point. Anything was better than standing there like an idiot.

“You gonna invite me in?” He asked, tipping his hat, his voice low and sultry. It was all fake bravado, though. Michael’s knees were actually weak at the sight of the guy he’d been in love with the past ten years. 

Alex closed his mouth and stepped back allowing Michael to walk in. Then he closed the door behind them and it sounded so final, like whatever was about to happen, neither of them could turn back. Michael felt like he had to pull it together, to gain the upper hand somehow. He was always in control no matter what so he couldn’t afford to lose it now.

“So, does the macho-cowboy swagger thing ever get old with you?” Alex asks. He doesn’t sound as confident as his words seem.

“Did it get old for you?” Michael asks. Alex doesn’t answer and it’s silent for a beat. “Mind if I…” Michael gestured toward the whiskey. It might calm his nerves a little and it would at least give him something to do with his hands.

“Uh, sure.” Was all Alex said. So he poured two glasses and handed one to Alex.

“So we should probably talk.” Alex says after downing his drink. Michael follows suit and levels him a look.

“We don’t have to. Your emails made everything pretty clear.” Michael tells him and at that Alex blushes a deep red that flushes over his cheek and neck. Suddenly all Michael can think of is chasing that heat with his tongue. That’s what he’s there for anyways, wasn’t it?

“I don’t think I made everything clear. And I sure as hell didn’t expect you.” Alex says, his voice rough from the whiskey.  
“That doesn’t have to change anything unless you want it to.” Michael says. He’s hoping this won’t change anything because he wants to be the one to take care of Alex’s needs, to make him feel good and wanted. Hell, he is wanted, to make him feel needed.

Alex looks like he’s going to say something, maybe put a stop to Michael’s train of thought right then and there but then his eyes shift down to Michael’s mouth, and further down, to Michael’s jeans, and yeah plenty of people have given Michael the once over in this line of work but none of them had ever come close to making him feel the way Alex is making him feel just then. Like he’s the only man left in the world. The only man for Alex.

“Yeah. Okay.” Alex finally says, swallowing hard. His voice is quiet so Michael asks him to say it again.

“Yes. This doesn’t have to change anything.” Alex tells him, not looking away this time.

That’s what Michael needed. He closes the distance between them and reaches for Alex like a lifeline, pulling him in by the neck drinking in the warm scent of soap and whiskey before pressing his lips to Alex’s.

It’s electric, this kiss. It’s been in the making a decade and Michael wishes just for a moment that this wasn’t a transaction. That he could properly welcome Alex home. He didn’t even know he was back and yet here he is winding his arms around Michael and pulling him in tight like no time has gone by.

Michael tips Alex’s head to the side to get a better angle before slipping his tongue along the seam of Alex’s lips. Alex opens with a gasp and Michael chases it with his tongue. Alex tastes like whiskey and toothpaste and that might be a weird combination, but it’s working for Michael as he maps the inside of Alex’s mouth.

Alex is in a button down shirt so Michael starts in on the buttons, peeling open Alex’s collar and and laying kisses between the parted material. “Is this okay?” He asks before going further.

“Yea--yes.” Alex tells him.

“Good, good, I’m going to be asking that a lot tonight and I want you to always answer out loud. That way we both know we’re on the same page. Michael rewards him by nibbling his earlobe. The he whispers in his ear, “Do you remember your safeword?”

Michael doesn’t usually need safewords, but he’d thought it was smart for someone who hadn’t been with anyone in a long time, especially someone with PTSD and a missing limb. It wasn’t that Michael had much experience with those things, but he wanted Alex to feel like he always had the power to stop what they were doing if it got to be too much or uncomfortable in some way. He’s especially glad he set it up this way now that he knows it’s Alex. Alex deserves a great night and Michael intends to give it to him.

“I do,” Alex manages. “It’s pineapple.” He says.

“Good. That’s perfect. If you’re ever uncomfortable with something I do or you just need a moment to breathe you’re going to use your safeword. But if for some reason you forget, I’m also going to stop if you tell me to stop. I only suggested the safeword because for a lot of people it’s easier than telling someone to stop what they’re doing, it feels less aggressive. It’s whatever works best for you, whatever you need.

All of this is said between kisses to Alex’s chest as Michael pulls apart his shirt button by button. When Alex’s shirt is gone Michael moves back to slowly peel his off as well. He follows that with his belt and then moves Alex to the bed. His body is tanner than Michael remembers and more chiseled. In all the right places. If Michael didn’t have a job to do here, he might get lost just looking at the grownup Alex before him.

Alex sits on the end of the bed and for just a moment he looks nervous again so Michael leans down to kiss him deeply, threads his fingers through Alex’s hair again and again, soothing him as best he can. This won’t be good if Alex is too nervous and Michael wants to make it good.

First he tosses the lube and condom from his pocket onto the bed, then he reaches for his own fly with a little smirk thrown Alex’s way and Alex’s pupils go wide. Yeah, that’s better. He undoes his jeans slowly, for effect naturally, and then slides them down and off leaving himself in black boxer briefs. Alex continues to watch his every move as he approaches the bed again. This time he reaches for Alex’s fly. “Still okay?” He asks.

“Yes.” Alex breathes.

Michael kisses Alex as he opens his pants, keeping him distracted and on edge. It’s much better than the nervousness. Alex is in white briefs and the sight of them makes Michael’s mouth water. He pulls the pants down the rest of the way and off, tossing them aside as he dives in for another kiss. He doesn’t bother looking at Alex’s leg. He knows what’s there and he wants to be sure Alex knows he doesn’t feel pity or disgust as those had been some of Alex’s concerns in his emails.

He takes Alex’s face in both his hands and kisses him, once, twice, before moving back. He’s going to ask Alex if he can help with the leg too, but Alex takes it from there and begins to pull off his prosthetic himself. It’s quick and simple and then he’s leaning it against the side of the bed. Michael will need to remember it’s there so he doesn’t knock it away.

Alex climbs backward on the bed and Michael chases him, covering his body with his own, kissing him and relaxing into it. Alex feels so fucking good it would be too easy to forget what they are doing, so Michael pulls back for a breath and checks in. Alex is still okay and now he’s flushed, not just his cheeks but his neck and chest too so Michael lets himself taste all of the warmth on his tongue. Alex relaxes even more under this treatment and Michael considers that a win.

When he’s done lavishing kisses all over Alex’s torso he moves lower, slowly so that Alex can anticipate what he’s going to do next. He lays a kiss on the waistband of Alex’s briefs and then teases a few kisses over the hardness beneath. Alex lifts his hips just a fraction of an inch and Michael takes that as a plea for more so he begins to mouth at Alex’s cock through the cotton underwear, dampening it, kissing and sucking through it until Alex’s breath is coming in little hitches.

Then he slowly tugs the briefs down to Alex’s thighs. He looks up at Alex who looks rumpled and wide eyed and Alex says softly, “I’m good,” without being prompted.

“Good.” Michael tells him softly before lowering his mouth to Alex’s leaking cock. He drags his lips over the tip, teasing, touching so softly until taking the head into his mouth. It’s a lot to take for him, taking Alex into his mouth like this, but he keeps going, driven by the idea that Alex has been touch starved and the fact that that is a crime.

At first he sucks gently but Alex is above him saying, “please,” so softly it almost hurts to hear so Michael sucks with more force, sinking down over Alex and taking him all the way in, with less teasing and more purpose. Alex is so hard against his tongue, Michael wants nothing more than to get lost there, to make him fall apart, to make him come. But there’s a plan, one they’d already agreed on, and Michael’s going to stick to it if it kills him.

He reaches for the lube but keeps up his ministrations with tongue and lips. The lube coats his fingers and it’s cold so he warms it as best he can before slipping one finger down behind Alex’s balls. Swirling there and pressing as Alex lets his legs fall open even more.

“Yes.” Alex says as he pressing the pad of his finger against Alex’s hole. Gently, so gently it doesn’t breach him yet. He takes Alex deep before pressing his finger in, carefully, slowly,, no one has made love to Alex all these years, he deserves the someone taking the time to do this the right way.

Michael opens Alex as slowly as possible only pushing in with two fingers when one begins to slide with ease, and three when two move in and out without resistance. All the while he holds Alex’s cock in his mouth until Alex is thrusting down onto his fingers and up into his mouth, panting and moaning, his head thrashing back and forth. Then and only then does Michael back off. First pulling off Alex and then slipping his fingers out gently. Alex moans at the loss, but Michael kisses his thigh in apology. 

“Still good?” Michael asks, his voice rough from the abuse his throat has taken.

“Yeah, yes, still good.” Alex assures him. 

“Okay.” He knows Alex wanted to be on his back for this, they’d left nothing to chance, but worked out every detail ahead of time.

Alex bends his one good leg up off the bed and lets the other fall open to the side and Michael settles between them, nuzzling along Alex’s neck, drinking in the scent of him, tasting his skin in little nips and kisses. Oh he was going to make this so good for Alex.

He rolls the condom on and adds more lube just to be sure and then rubs the head of his dick around and around Alex’s hole. He’s loose and open, but Michael knows he will still have to take it slow. 

“Michael, please.” Alex begs and Michael can’t handle that at all. He eases into Alex one inch at a time until he’s fully seated inside him and then he waits. While he waits he kissed Alex with abandon. It isn’t professional at all because he’s feeling too much in this moment. 

Usually when Michael took male clients they wanted him on the bottom, as it were, and that was all fine and good, but he missed this. Since he didn’t really date he never got the chance and it felt so perfect. So hot and tight and so good, so very good. It felt like coming home and Michael poured that feeling into the kiss. When he was finally able to gather his wits about himself again, he pulls back and looks into Alex’s face. What he sees there is so much love looking back at him, it’s too much, it’s probably in his head anyway so he simply asks, “Are you good?” 

Alex nods at first but then seems to remember their agreement. “I’m good.” He croaks softly.

“Good.” Michael whispers, and then he begins to move. 

He pays close attention to Alex’s body language, feeling Alex relax around him, the way he tips his hips up to meet each thrust, the way he throws his head back, the way he grabs at Michael’s hips and back. Michael listens to every small sound he makes, listening for the safe word or for a call to stop, but that call never comes.

Michael buries himself in Alex again and again, grinding their hips together and when that isn’t enough for either of them he takes hold of Alex’s hips and angles them so that he can drag his cock over Alex’s prostate until Alex is a babbling mess. It takes all of Michael’s control but he holds on, doesn’t let himself lose sight of what he’s trying to do.  
He takes Alex’s cock in hand and begins to stroke it in time to his thrusts. It’s hard to hang on now, but Michael pulls it off somehow, biting his lip hard in the process. All he wants to do is let loose and come deep inside of Alex but Alex isn’t there yet, so he waits even though his hips are falling out of rhythm and the sweat is pooling between them making it harder to keep ahold of Alex.

“Come on, Alex, let go for me. I wanna see you come.” He says finally.

“Oh god, Michael!” Alex almost shouts as he comes and he clenches down tight around Michael. He comes hot hand fast over Michael’s hand and Michael follows him right over the edge. 

Coming down is like being doused with cold water for Michael. Alex doesn’t want to be held after and Michael respects that, moves back and gives him space right away. He slips back into his clothes and Alex does the same. There is a moment when Michael realizes he should say something. Something about how this was more than just a job or how much it meant to him to have a chance to be with Alex again after all these years, but the moment passes the minute Alex reaches for the envelope on the side table. He passes it to Michael silently.

Michael takes the envelope and then flashes Alex a smile that’s a total lie compared to how he really feels. He slips the envelope into his back pocket and his heart clenches tight in his chest until it’s hard to breathe. He’s gotta get outta of there and fast. Before he really does say something stupid.

He strides back to the bed where Alex is sitting, takes his face in his hands, and kisses him goodbye. It’s a deep kiss full of longing and everything he knows he should say but can’t. Shouldn’t say, maybe. The things welling up in him that he feels he has to keep control of. Then he’s out the door. He closes it behind him softly and practically runs for his truck. If Alex comes out, he’ll speak up. If Alex comes after him he’ll say it all and Michael really doesn’t know if he wants that or not. Either way, it doesn’t happen. He starts up his truck and pulls out of the parking lot and as he drives he realizes that he’s never going to be the same now. No matter what something has shifted inside him and he won’t be able to go back to the person he’s been all these years. Whether or not that’s a good thing remains to be seen.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex loses it the moment Michael is gone. He sinks right back down onto the edge of the bed, his head in his hands and he weeps. He weeps for all the unspoken words he thought while Michael was there, for every touch between them, for the fact that it felt like making love when it was just a business transaction. When he can no longer stay upright he curls up on his side and buries his face in a pillow

For the better part of an hour Alex cries until he’s sobbing dryly against the pillow and falls into a dreamless and restless sleep.  
When he wakes he takes stock of his surroundings. He hasn’t forgotten where he is, but it doesn’t feel quite real. The only thing to prove Michael had been there is the empty second glass on the table and the smell of his cologne on the sheets. That and the fact that Alex is now several hundred dollars lighter.

He runs his hand over his face, scrubbing at it, then runs it through his hair. He can’t regret what happened with Michael, he would definitely do it all over again. No he regrets everything else. Like ten years of silence and distance between them. Like everything he should have said but didn’t. When it had come right down to it, Alex hesitated because Michael was the one that said nothing had to change. He was there for one thing and Alex had gone along with that.

Now he has to live with the consequences. If there was even a small part of him that thought he might have sought Michael out after he got home, it was squashed now. He was Michael’s client and that was all.

Alex got up and went to the little bathroom, flicked the light on, and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He looked like hell. So he looked away quickly and turned on the shower. He needed to clean off the scent of Michael so he could leave this place and go home. It didn’t matter that it was still the middle of the night.

He ran the shower hot and scrubbed at his skin until it was red and just shy of raw. It hurt. He hurt. All over and not in a good way. His body already missed the gentle touch of Michael’s hands, but his heart was broken.

The drive home in the dark felt long. He turned on the radio but after a few minutes of switching channels, he turned it back off again. His mind was racing and he was doing his best to not think about the past. About the first time Guerin kissed him or the first time they were together, the last time they were together before this time. It was too much for one person to handle but it wasn’t like he was going to call any of his friends in the middle of the night.

When he finally gets home he goes to plug in his phone and finds he has a message from his father. He doesn’t listen to it. The last thing he needs tonight is to hear his father’s voice. Instead he goes straight to bed, pulls off his clothes and his leg and climbs into bed to try and sleep some more.

Sleep is a fickle thing but eventually he uses the technique he learned in the Air Force to clear his mind and sleep under stressful conditions and it works. He’s out before he knows it.

He’s up with the dawn just a few short hours later. It’s habit, he wakes before the alarm on his phone goes off. Alex rolls over and glares at the light coming in through the window. There’s nothing for it. It doesn’t matter if he still feels like he was hit with a Mack truck, he’s awake now so he rolls upward and finds his prosthetic before heading to the kitchen for some breakfast.

Breakfast flies by and Alex is left looking at his phone wondering what his dad wants. He’s still not ready to hear it. He had two days off from desk duty as it was so he should be able to get a break from the man. Even if it’s only a small break.

By noon Alex is ansty though. He needs something to do, someone to talk to and his first idea might not be the best one since he’s got mixed feelings about the night before. Still he heads to the Wild Piony to see if Maria is in yet and to get her opinion on the whole mess he finds himself in now.

The wild pony parking lot is empty save for one truck, Maria’s. He pushes through the door leaning just a little heavier than usual on his cane thanks to last nights extracurricular activities, and makes a beeline for the bar.

“We’re closed!” Maria calls before she can see him, but when she does her face blanks out. “What happened to you?” She asks, worried.

“You won’t believe me when I tell you.” He starts, sliding onto a stool in front of the bar and leaning his can against it.

“You got laid last night and that’s not necessarily a good thing. Or is it?” Maria asks.

“I don’t know either, you tell me.” Alex says.

Maria leans across the bar and takes his hand. “Someone special from your past. Oh! Museum guy? Is that it? You ran into him again, didn’t you?”

Alex closes his eyes briefly before opening them and looking at her. “Museum guy.” He admits. 

“So, are you going to tell me who he is or do I have to guess?” Maria asks him.

“You’d never guess in a million years.” Alex tells her. He takes a deep breath while Maria waits.

“It’s not like it’s someone gross or shameful like Wyatt Long or Michael Guerin.” She says.

Alex hangs his head. Could this be any worse? “It’s not Wyatt Long.” He agrees.

Maria’s eyes go wide. “Guerin? Michael Guerin is museum guy? And you slept with him last night? Wait, I thought you were using that escort service I sent you to?”

And before Alex can even get the words out she gasps. “Exactly.” He says by way of answer.

“Are you going to see him again?” Maria asks, cutting straight to the heart of the matter.

“I don’t know. I want to, but I don’t know if I can handle it being like that between us. I think there was some part of me that thought I would see him once I got home and maybe, maybe…” Alex’s voice trails off. “Last night was perfect, but then I had to pay him and it nearly broke me. I’m not sure I can face that again.

“So why don’t you go talk to him about it. He’s probably got things he needs to say too.” Maria tries, but Alex shakes his head. “Okay, how about a drink then and we can talk about anything else you want.”

Alex accepts a bloody mary since it’s still so early and Maria joins him. They talk about how much fun desk duty isn’t and how being back under his dad is wreaking havoc on his self esteem and Maria talks about her mom and how bad things have gotten. By the time Alex leaves he’s feeling much better. And maybe just a little bit like he’s overreacted. It doesn’t have to be so complicated unless he lets it be that way.

He can see Michael again if he wants to, he knows how. Of course two bloody mary’s might be affecting his bravery just a tiny bit, but he doesn’t think so. He thinks it’s his best bet really. Much better than Maria’s suggestion of trying to talk to Michael. After all Michael had made himself very clear when they were together. They could have that much but it had to be business.

So when he gets home he pulls up his email and types one out to “Johnny”.

_I’d like to meet again, if that works for you. Let me know. I have a couple of ideas._

_Alex_


	4. Chapter 4

Michael hadn’t meant to be caught. He was just picking up more beer, he wasn’t even that drunk, but of course he had to try and rush home and Valenti had picked him up. Now that the sun was up and he was mostly sober, Michael knows what an idiot he’s been. He certainly won’t need Max to tell him.

So he needs to jet before Max gets there. The security cameras are no trouble and the keys are sitting right on the desk, just there, right where he could see them and of course that’s when Max comes in.

He looks as self righteous as ever. Michael has heard it all before though, he doesn’t need to hear it now. He’d earned the right to get drunk last night, not that he plans on telling Max the reason for it. Max doesn’t approve of Michael’s career choices, he certainly wasn’t going to understand getting wasted after seeing Alex as his client.

Instead of the lecture though, Max offers to let him out once he’s sober. Well he’s already sober, but now he’s feeling a little let down. He’s all ready to argue and Max isn’t rising to the occasion for some reason.

“What, no lecture? Why you gotta cause a scene, Michael? Why don’t you drive the speed limit, Michael? Why don’t you spend your nights like I do, crying and maturbating to Russian moralistic literature? Michael?”

Max looks tired but he doesn’t get the chance to respond because Isobel comes in and she isn’t happy with Max at all.

“What did you do?” Michael asks him.

Then Max tells them the most outrageous story about Liz Ortecho being shot in the cafe and him bringing her back. Twenty years of secret keeping gone out the window like it was nothing? Not to mention the risk it brought on Isobel, on all of them.

Michael busts out of the jail cell and tells him straight to his face how stupid he was trying to be the hero. He could have called for backup, could have called for an ambulance, anything other than risk all of their lives to save a girl he hardly even knows now.

“Everything I’ve ever done has been to protect you and Isobel!” Max tells him, but Michael isn’t hearing it.

“Everything you’ve ever done is to protect yourself!” He pushes with his power and Max and everything else in front of him flies backwards and away. Michael hadn’t meant to be so destructive, but there it is. His already frayed nerves have snapped. He doesn’t have anything left to say though, so he leaves. Fuck Max and his moral high ground.

When he gets back to the trailer there are uniforms swarming all over and the ranch owner is there too. He says he’d come knocking and Michael was gone.

“So you call in the calvary?” Michael asks. But no, that wasn’t it at all. The air force is acquiring the land. Michael will have to move and on top of that find a new job to keep his daytime cover. It’s more than a pain in the ass, though, it’s totally invasive. One of the uniforms is trying to look inside and that is the last thing Michael needs.

“Hey!” He calls, “Hey, that’s private property!” He grabs the guy by the shoulder and as he turns around Michael feels his mouth drop open. It’s Alex standing there. The last time he’d seen Alex they’d just finished having the hottest sex of Michael’s life and now here he is in his fatigues and beret looking totally official and in control. Though Michael gets the tiniest bit of satisfaction when he realizes that Alex hadn’t been expecting to see him either.

“Alex.”

“Guerin. What are you doing in there? It sure as hell doesn’t look legal.” Alex says.

Michael raises his eyebrows at that. There was nothing legal about what they’d just done the night before in the hotel together, but he hadn’t heard any complaints then. “A little weed, a _lot_ of casual sex, oh and covert plans to violently overthrow the government. Why don’t you go tell your daddy? I’m sure he’d be real proud of you. You’d be a real Manes man then.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, but climbs inside the airstream and shuts the door behind him. Around him, all over the walls are charts and maps and all of his work, all the things he doesn’t need Alex to see. He throws off his shirt, grabs a clean one and takes a deep breath. All of this will need a better hiding place and soon.

It won’t do to try and move anything as long as the air force is still milling around outside so Michael grabs the last beer from the fridge, a little put out with himself for leaving the new pack he’d bought out in the car, and pops the top off. It’s going to be a long day and it’s going to require a lot of beer.

The email came at five which should have been too early to be drunk, but Michael was already three sheets to the wind. He’d started drinking heavily as soon as the air force assholes had left and hadn’t stopped since. Now the last thing he needs to do is make important decisions. He isn’t too drunk to know that, he’s just too drunk to care.

He reads the email several times then sits heavily on the edge of his bed. He wants to see Alex again, there is no question about that. Despite how rude they were to each other earlier. He aches to see him, to kiss him, to touch him. Years as an escort have taught him that it’s exactly these types of desires that mean he shouldn’t book another appointment. Michael never gets involved like that with clients, no matter how appealing they might be, but add into that his feelings for Alex and he knows for a fact he should stay away.

Or really he should go find Alex and tell him plainly that he wants to see him, but not as a client. On a date maybe. They could do it right now that they’re adults. No sneaking around necessary. He should do that, but then he remembers the cold look in Alex’s eye as he handed over the envelope of cash. The way he so easily agreed to keep things professional. Alex hadn’t given him any reason to think that contacting him outside of the agency email would be a good idea. Besides, he wants Alex, still. Badly wants Alex. So he’s typing a reply before he ever makes a real decision.

_Talk to me about these ideas of yours._

_Michael_

Then he stands, digs in the cabinet, and finds a trash bag. There are probably thirty odd bottles that need trashing and even though he’s wasted he knows he’ll feel better when he can no longer see them. 

Clean up is almost over when the next email comes. This time the trailer walls are almost completely still. He’s still drunk, but he’s in it now, there’s no going back.

_A buddy of mine once told me about this massage parlor he went to that had a happy ending. You ever do anything like that?_

_Alex_

Michael probably would have been hard just reading that, but being drunk had one bonus in this case. He was already making plans in his head. He’d never done a massage fantasy before, but he could imagine it so well. The oil slicking over Alex’s skin, Michael kneading the stress from his back and limbs, the way he would practically glow in the low light. Oh yeah, Michael could have ideas too.

He wrote Alex back assuring him that he was up to the challenge. He didn’t really expect a reply to come so fast, but there it was in his inbox. Alex set a date a time and Michael confirmed it. They would meet Wednesday night at the same motel. That gave Michael just a few short days to prepare.

Admittedly he spent some of that time following Liz and Max, but there’s not much to see. Clearly Max is in over his head, but Michael hasn’t decided what he’s going to do about it yet.

By the time Wednesday night rolls around, Michael is antsy. He’s way keyed up and ready for Alex, ready right then. He’d have to play it cool if he was going to get through the night with his dignity in tact.

Right at eleven he knocks on the motel door and Alex answers wearing just a towel, as they’d decided. Michael wants to crowd him up against the door and ravage him, but he’s carrying a massage table so at least he’s occupied and he can pretend like he didn’t just have that thought.

“Let me just get set up.” He says and sets about doing just that. Alex sits on the edge of the bed, waiting. It doesn’t take long. He was borrowing the table from Isobel who liked massages in her own home with her own equipment. She didn’t ask him any details about way he needed it, just made him promise to clean it and disinfect it before returning it.

Once he has the table draped with a white sheet and a towel he helps Alex hop up on it. Then Alex silently passes his prosthetic to Michael who lays it on the bed gently. Then Alex lays down on his stomach, only the towel draped over his ass. Michael licks his lips, he can’t help it. Alex just radiates sex and Michael wants.

So he pulls out the massage oil he’d bought, it’s mildly scented, orange blossom, and begins to work it between his hands to warm it up. Then he starts in on Alex’s shoulders. Now Michael isn’t a masseur, which Alex knows, but he did watch a few videos to get some ideas of how to play the part. He really wants to relax Alex and make every part of the fantasy believable and enjoyable.

He can feel Alex melting beneath his hands and it’s a bit of a power trip. Alex sighs softly here and there and occasionally moans gently when Michael finds a sore spot. He works over Alex’s neck and shoulders, down his back, lower and lower until he’s teasing Alex but never quite touching his ass. Then he switches to Alex’s legs and moves higher and higher until it only makes sense to move the towel.

“Is this alright?” He asks, tugging the edge of the towel lightly.

“Mmm. Yes.” Alex slurs. The massage is really working on him. Good, Michael thinks. All is going according to plan.

Michael removes the towel and lays it on the bed then goes right back to Alex’s thighs before moving up to his glutes. He takes his time there, deeply massaging then lightly rubbing in turns until Michael is shifting restlessly under his hands.

“Ready to turn over for me?” Michael asks, his voice uncharacteristically husky.

“Okay, yeah.” Alex tells him in a sleepy voice. He sounds so relaxed that Michael puffs up a bit with pride. Hell yeah he can do this massage fantasy!

Gently, he helps Alex roll over. Alex is already hard and the sight of his flushed cock distracts Michael for a moment. Then he remembers himself and sets to work on Alex’s chest, skirts around his stomach because apparently he’s ticklish, and sets in on his thighs rubbing deeply.

Finally, finally it’s time to change gears and Michael is excited. He’s been hard in his pants since Alex turned over. Now he finally gets to take him in hand.

He does so gently, cautiously, as if he’s not really allowed. “Is the pressure okay?” He asks, cheekily.

“Perfect.” Alex assures him.

Once Alex’s cock is covered in the massage oil, Michael begins stroking it more firmly, twisting his hand on every other motion. Alex’s hips are restless, his head thrown back exposing the long line of his neck. Michael can’t resist bending to kiss him in the hollow of his throat and is rewarded with a choked little noise.

Alex opens his eyes and fixes them on Michael. “I want you in my mouth, is that negotiable?” 

And damn, it so is. “Of course.” Michael tells him as professionally as possible. He doesn’t feel like a professional though, he feels like a boyfriend making Alex’s fantasies come to life. He would do this for Alex every day if he could.

Alex gets his hands on Michael’s belt and begins undoing it. He slips it out of the loops and tosses it to the ground, then he sets in on Michael’s fly. Before Michael can even offer to help he’s got Michael’s dick in his mouth and he’s sucking it with abandon.

It’s a reach, but Michael keeps his hand on Alex and strokes him faster, in time to Alex’s sucking. God he’s good with his mouth. That was something they’d never really explored together before. Never quite had the time. 

Michael sinks the fingers of his free hand into Alex’s hair, and strokes his scalp, nails digging in just a bit. He pets at him, thumb stroking over his cheek and jaw. Encouraging him to keep going, to take more and Alex takes it like a goddamn champion, swallowing around the head of Michael’s cock until Michael can;t take it any longer. He has to make sure Alex comes first.

“You’re taking me so well.” He says softly. “You feel so good, but I want you to focus here,” and with that he tightens his grip on Alex, stroking faster and harder. “I want you to come for me, can you do that?”

It takes everything he has to play it so controlled. He feels like he’s spinning out but he hangs on as Alex mumbles and nods and then he stops sucking altogether and his back bows up off the table and he comes over Michael’s hand in a rush. He comes and comes and Michael strokes him through it all. 

Immediately he starts back in on Michael and Michael tightens his grip in Alex’s hair, his hips pumping his cock in and out of Alex’s mouth, using it for his own pleasure. It takes only a moment and he tries to drag Alex off, to warn him, but Alex sucks him down hard and Michael comes down his throat with a grunt.

He slips out of Alex’s mouth and bends to kiss him deep and hard, chasing the taste of himself on Alex’s tongue. It’s dirty and hot and Michael can’t get enough, but he knows he needs to back off and let Alex breathe so he does. 

“Stay there.” He commands softly, then goes to wet a washcloth for Alex.

He gets the water nice and warm and then goes back to clean off Alex’s stomach. He’s prepared to do more, but Alex silently takes the washcloth from him and does it himself. Okay, so they were done. Michael needed to remember his place. They weren’t lovers. This was strictly a business transaction.

“Pass me my leg?” Alex asks, sitting up on the massage table.  
“Sure.” Michael says. He passes the leg over and bends to pick his belt off the floor. 

Alex stands and grabs the towel to cover himself. It makes Michael feel wrong footed. 

“I’m going to shower, the envelope’s on the table.” Alex says and then he leaves. Just like that he’s shutting himself in the bathroom and Michael is left to clean up. Which is fine, he tells himself, it’s as it should be. Not boyfriends, not boyfriends, but as many times as Michael repeats it to himself it doesn’t seem real. No one had ever given him a blowjob like that. That felt like something more. More intimate, more… just more.

Michael decided it was best to work on the clean up. He broke down the table and folded it up. Stuffed the sheet and towel into his beg and grabbed the envelope of cash off the table. He wanted nothing more than to join Alex in the shower and help him wash the oil from his body, to kiss him, to tell him how much it had meant to be with him again. Michael didn’t lie to himself though, he just let himself out of the room silently and headed to his truck.

He felt guilty for even letting his mind go there. He knew what this was and even if it wasn’t completely above board for Michael it clearly was for Alex. He’d made it more than clear actually and Michael needed to find a way to respect that if they were going to keep doing this and Michael really wanted to keep doing it.

The highway was empty as he pulled out and headed home. He had a lot to think about, but one thing he knew for sure, if Alex wanted to keep seeing him under these circumstance, Michael was going to go along with it. For as long as Alex wanted him.


	5. Chapter 5

Alex doesn’t email Michael the next day like he wants to. Or the day after that. In fact he controls himself enough that he thinks maybe it’s over and he can go about mourning the loss and get on with his life somehow. He knows he can’t keep seeing Michael like that. Using him like that. It’s beyond wrong. It was going to be bad enough hiring an escort in the first place, but now that it’s Michael, it just feels bad. Like he’s doing something bad. 

Not because Michael is an escort, he has no problem with people who do sex work or benefit from it, but he himself knows that he was just hiring someone because he couldn’t get anyone else. It was supposed to be a one and done sort of deal. Instead he has all these feelings for Michael that he can’t keep hidden forever and he’s still using the escort service to see him instead of reaching out to him properly.

So he doesn’t email and he gets no email from Michael either. And the days slowly pass by.

Soil samples out at the ranch come back pretty suspicious and that’s just another reason to stay away from Michael. As if he needed more. 

Finally it’s the night of the reunion and Alex almost doesn’t go. Liz was pretty awkward when they’d run into each other at the bar and he figures people will either be awkward or indifferent and neither of those things sound very fun. Plus Michael might be there. In the end he decides that Michael probably won’t show because it’s not exactly his scene, and he dresses to go.

The reunion is small, afterall the didn’t have a huge graduating class to begin with and a lot of people that did graduate left town as soon as they could. But still there’s Maria who talks to him a bit and the music is good. Everything goes smoothly until he spots the one person he wants to avoid. What makes it worse is that said person is chatting up a girl Alex can’t quite remember. And they look very comfortable together.

Alex can’t quite pinpoint the feeling that rushing through him causing him to walk toward Michael and not away, but he’s slightly relieved when the girl Michael’s with gets up and walks away.

“So, are you cooking meth?” Alex asks him when he reaches him. He’s pitched his voice so that they won’t be overheard.

“Yeah absolutely.” Michael snaps back. 

“I’m serious. My chemical engineers found high levels of phenyl-2-propanone around your airstream.” Alex tells him plainly. It doesn’t look good.

Michael stands up and makes to leave but Alex blocks him. He’s not letting Michael go until he gets some kind of answer. He has to know if Michael’s been doing something illegal out there.

Michael sighs. “It’s not P2P they’re detecting. It’s similar. You should find yourself some better engineers.” Then he tries to move past Alex again.

This time Alex stops him with a hand on his arm. “You’re wasting your life Guerin.” In so many ways, he thinks. Maybe he does have an issue with sex workers or maybe he just has an issue with Michael being one.

Michael looks down at Alex’s hand and sneers. “You trying to hold my hand private?”

Alex can’t believe the animosity and sheer nerve Michael has. He acts like Alex is the one in the wrong here. “Don’t you ever get tired of these games?”

Michael moves in just a hair closer. “I don’t know, do you?”

This time when Michael tries to get past, Alex lets him go. His eyes follow Michael to the girl he was chatting up before. She’s retrieved a drink for him and he takes a big swig out of it before shooting Alex a final glance. Then he puts his arm around the girl and leads her into the crowd.

Alex walks around bit, but as he’d suspected not many people have much to say to him. He wasn’t exactly popular in high school. So he goes to get his palm read by Maria.

“I wasn’t expecting you to come over here.” Maria says as he sits in front of her.

“You probably shouldn’t say things like that, people will think you aren’t the real deal.” He teases.

“Ooh, you’re right.” She says, dropping her voice conspiratorially. Then she lays her hand out on the table between them, palm up. Alex knows the drill. He’s had his palm read by her before.

Alex lays his hand on top of her and she leans in close, examining the lines, reading his future, however she does it. Her brow creases fairly quickly.

“Uh, oh.” Alex jokes. “That doesn’t look good, what is it?” 

She shakes her head and flashes him a smile. “Nothing, it’s nothing, I’m sure.”

“Come on DeLuca, out with it.” He says.

“It’s just, I think you might need to be on the lookout for an enemy. Someone close to you maybe. Just keep an eye out, okay?” She runs her finger over a line on his hand and then blows out her breath, giving him another smile, this one just a touch on the tight side.

“An enemy.” Alex murmurs. “Got it. What else?”  
“Well, let me see. You’ve seen that special someone again.” She says slyly.

“Mmhm, but you knew that already.” Alex says with a laugh.

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me how much fun you had!” She accuses.

“Fine, fine, I did have a lot of fun. But it can’t happen again.” He tells her.

Maria narrows her eyes at him. “Why not?” She asks plainly.

“Because I don’t know what Guerin is up to out at that ranch, but I know it’s no good. He was so shifty about it.” Alex answers.

Maria leans forward and taps his palm with one finger. “That’s not your reason.” She says.

“Maybe not, but it should be.” Alex huffs.

After his palm reading Alex just wants to go. He grabs a beer and heads to the back to look at the pictures of their class that are projected up on the walls before heading out. When he finds one of himself on a skateboard he has to stop and stare. Immediately he feels the loss of his leg. It aches because he’s had the prosthetic on too long that day. So he hitches it up on a speaker and prods at it, trying to adjust it and get some relief. It doesn’t really work so he rolls his pant leg back down. 

When he looks up it’s to see Michael standing in the doorway. Alex swallows because as upset as he is with Michael he still looks so good and Alex just wants him, wants it to be simple between them.

“Nostalgia’s a bitch huh?” he says, his beer dangling from one hand.

Alex shakes his head. Nostalgia isn’t even the half of it. “I thought for sure when I got back from Iraq you’d be long gone.” And it’s true. Michael was smart. He should have had a free ride to anywhere he wanted. Yet here he was still in Roswell doing god knew what out in his trailer and selling his body for money.

“Is that what you want?” Michael asks as he walks closer. The lights are dim for the pictures but Alex can see the look on his face plainly enough. It’s too open, too needy for everything that’s passed between them. It reminds Alex of when they were seventeen and that hurts.

“We’re not kids anymore.” Alex tries, but he can’t help but step ever closer to Michael. He’s being pulled in whether he wants to be or not. “What I want doesn’t matter.”

Michael hesitates just a moment as they look into each other’s eyes and then he reaches for Alex, pulls him in by the neck and kisses him. It’s hot and hungry and so needy that it makes Alex’s chest ache. This. This is what he wants. He pours that want into the kiss, his fears go too, the fact that he can’t seem to say what he really thinks without fucking things up, all of it goes into that kiss.

When Michael pulls back he leans his forehead against Alex’s. “You didn’t write.” He says softly.

Alex knows he means through email and he wants to tell him why, but Michael pulls away, turns to leave before Alex can get up the courage to speak up. Then he’s gone and Alex is left alone brooding with his memories once more.

The next Monday he sees his father. So far he hasn’t had to have too much direct contact with him alone, but this time there’s no one around to be a buffer for him.

“I need you to go post an eviction for Guerin. We need that airstream gone in twenty four hours. The sale of the ranch just went through.” His father says bluntly and then passes him the notice. “Go post this on his door and if you see him tell him we have no problem moving that pile of trash ourselves if he doesn’t.”

“Got it.” Alex tells him. Just what he wants to do. Go see Guerin and tell him he officially doesn’t have a home any more.

“I mean it, Alex, I want him gone.” His father leans in close. “Don’t make me have to find someone else.”

“I said I got it.” Alex tells him, his voice strained just a bit. His father looks like he might say something else, but decides against it and leaves. 

Alex deflates the tiniest bit in his absence. He hates working with his dad but it’s all he has right now. He’s been thinking of being dishonorably discharged but then what? It’s not like he had a back up plan.

So he drives out to the ranch. The Airstream is blessedly empty, so he begins to tape the notice to the door. He feels awful about it, but he can’t help but be relieved he isn’t going to have to see Michael. It’s too soon. He’d made a mistake at the reunion kissing him like that. Hadn’t he said that what he wanted didn’t matter? It still doesn't. There is too much history between them and too much present in the way.

Alex is almost done when he hears the truck coming up the drive. Great, he thinks. Just what he needs right now.


	6. Chapter 6

Michael has had a shit night. Granted it had started out on a high note, plotting with Isobel to go give Liz Ortecho a piece of their minds, but it had ended badly and he still wasn’t over it the next morning. Threatening Liz was definitely the right move, he needed to get a feel for her. What type of person was she? Was she likely to spill their secret? Was she scared of them? Those questions needed answers. Getting caught by Max, though, had not been the plan.

Max is pissed, fine. Michael is pissed too and so is Isobel. Max is playing fast and loose with their lives. What’s worse is he’s so enamoured with Liz that he can’t see what he’s doing. He thinks everything will be fine because he completely trusts Liz. Which is crazy! Liz has been gone for ten years. None of them know what kind of person she is yet. Not even Max. But there was no telling the man.

So Michael spent the night out on the ranch, not in his trailer, but where he used to go as a kid, to wait. To hope that there was someone out there looking for him, coming back to get him, to take him home. He knows now it won’t be his mother, and he’s sure it won’t be anyone else from the crash, but maybe, somewhere, there’s still someone looking. 

He doesn’t really have hope. It’s more a habit and a way to comfort himself when times get tough and things are as tough as they’d been just now. He laid in the back of his truck and looked up at the stars, wondering for the millionth time just where they’d come from. As usual the stars held no answers.

Needless to say, things are still shit the next morning and they are about to get worse because there’s someone in uniform outside his Airstream when he finally gets home and he’s pretty sure it’s Alex. 

It is Alex, he sees when he finally pulls up and parks. Alex is taping some paper to the door of the Airstream. Michael hops out and comes around the truck.

“You keep showing up like this, I’m gonna start thinking you like me.” He says, a twist to his lips. He knows exactly what he’s implying.

Alex doesn’t seem phased by him at all. “The sale of the ranch went through, this land is now property of the U.S. government. You have twenty four hours to move out.”

Michael grabs him by the lapel of his fatigues and slowly draws him forward so he can lean in and whisper, “Why don’t you tell Uncle Sam I’ll think about it?”

“Guerin.” Alex says looking down at his hand then grabs it, pulling it off of him. “What happened at the reunion can not happen again. None of it can happen again. Okay?”

Michael looks away with a sigh before looking back at Alex. So it was going to be like that then? Not only are they not kissing, but nothing else either. 

“What happened? I was pretty wasted.” He says.

Alex shakes his head and has the nerve to look disgusted. “Just move your trailer.”

“What’s the Air Force want with the land anyway?” Michael asks him as he’s walking away. “It’s the third dairy ranch you’ve shut down.”

Alex turns, leaning on his cane. “We’re building a new facility.”

“Well, isn’t there some law about building on a historical site?”

“What do you mean a historical… Oh because the UFO crashed here? Yeah,” Alex says with a chuckle, “We’re not supposed to build on top of Santa’s workshop, either.” Then he turns to go.

Michael knows it’s stupid to be hurt by such a harmless offhand comment, but it still stings. It’s just another reminder of the differences that are keeping them apart, the worlds that lie between them. He watches until Alex drives off then turns to go into his Airstream. He tries sleeping because what else would he do after a night of laying awake, but sleep doesn’t come. He’s got too much on his mind and too much of that is Alex and Foster Ranch. 

So he decides to head to the Wild Pony. Because why not? He knows where he’s gonna move already, it’s not like it’ll take long to do, and day drinking is sort of his thing anyway. He can get lost in a bottle and stop thinking about his life and how he’s sure Alex isn’t going to engage him any more for his services after that illicit kiss they’d shared at the reunion. Why though? Was he that repugnant?

No, he couldn’t think about it, he needed to drink. Everything was going according to plan until Isobel showed up. 

“Ohh, why are you here?” He asks, not really wanting the answer.

“I love this bar.” She tells him and that’s certainly news to him.

“You said this bar was as disgusting as a senator’s sex life.” He points out. 

She takes a breath and drops the fake smile. “Max is shutting me out. I thought… maybe you could talk to him.”

Michael doesn’t answer her right away so she tries again. “Something is wrong with him, Michael. And when that happened the last time, you were the only one he would open up to.”

“As you can see, I’m very busy.” Michael says, lifting a bottle of nail polish remover before looking around to see if anyone was looking. Then he poured it into his drink.

“I heard they’re shutting down the Foster ranch. Is that why we’re day brooding? You’re gonna get another job.” Isobel says. “Maybe one that’s not on the site of a crash that killed our family members in a fiery explosion.” She takes his glass and takes a drink.

“Oh. I like it there. I always have. When I was a kid. Nights when I had to get away from whatever crap home I was in, I would hitch a ride to Foster Homestead Ranch.” He admits.

“So what would you do out there all by yourself at night?” Isobel asks, turning to him.

“Wait. Figured that was the last place I saw my family, maybe they’d be back. Or maybe, maybe somebody would come and take me home. Ah for a genius,” he takes another swig of his drink, “I was a real dumbass.”

Isobel didn’t have anything to say to that. She was quiet for a moment and Michael thought maybe she had given up. Until she ordered her own drink. Then he knew she was in it for the long haul.

She followed him over to the pool tables and Michael didn’t know what else they could say to each other. Max wasn’t exactly listening to him lately, was he?

“Go home, Isobel.” He tried.

“I’m not leaving until you agree to talk to Max.” She said stubbornly. He just shook his head at her. “Come on. This is the perfect opportunity for your guys to get over all the ugly history of the last decade and be friends again.” 

“Max and I were never meant to be friends.” He said still shaking his head.

“We’re family.” Isobel said instead.

“No. We’re not. We all just happened to hitch the same doomed ride on the same intergalactic titanic. The day Mr. and Mrs. Evans walked into that group home, and they-they picked you two, and they left me behind. That was decided.” Michael told her plainly.

“Max has his entire life trying to make up for that one awful moment. It wasn’t his fault. We were seven.” She hissed.

“He was a grown-ass man last week when he chose Liz over us, Isobel.” Michael retorted.

Behind them Wyatt Long and his buddies were talking about the shooting at the crashdown. They were joking about it saying they should do more than just shoot out some light bulbs. They decided they needed to send _those illegals_ back where they came from.

Isobel grabbed Michael by the sleeve. “They’re going to the Crashdown. If something happens to Arturo or Liz…”

Michael cut her off. “I’m sure Deputy Evans will come to the rescue.”

“Yeah, exactly, he’ll lose it.” She said. “He’s not himself right now Michael. I don’t want him to do something he can’t take back.” 

Michael knew she was right to be worried and he hung his head in defeat.

“Yes, Max risked our lives to save Liz. Okay? I am mad too. But she was dying…”

“Mmm.” Michael hummed softly, nodding sarcastically.

“Right in front of him. Come on, Michael, is there really nobody in this world that you wouldn’t risk everything to save?” When Michael looked away she sad. “Sad.” she said, then she turned to leave.

Michael eyes searched the bar and found that one person. Alex. Their eyes met across the bar for just a moment. Alex’s smile faded and he looked down, breaking eye contact with Michael. Maybe Michael could imagine what Max must have felt, but he certainly wasn’t ready to say that out loud and it didn’t change how stupid Max was being.

Even so, he followed Isobel out to the parking lot. He couldn’t just leave Max in trouble, not if there was something he could do about it.

He almost didn’t make it in time. He found Max down the alley choking the guy and using his powers to try and kill him. Michael pulled Max off with his own power, and threw him back away from Wyatt.

Unfortunately Wyatt had seen it all, luckily for everyone involved, though, Isobel is there with her taser. Wyatt Long is out like a light.

“He was gonna kill him.” Michael tells Isobel. 

“He killed Liz!” Max says. “Okay. She was dead right in front of me, nd he came back to finish her dad off. People like him don’t stop. They don’t change.”

“So that makes you judge, jury, and executioner.” Michael nods as he says this. 

“Michael!” Isobel stops him from saying more. “This isn't you Max. Something has been wrong with you for days. I can feel it, and so can you.”

“You’re right.” Max agrees softly. “Ever since I healed Liz there’s been this poison inside me. I… I don’t know.”

Michael takes off his hat and walks to sit by Max. The three of them will need to figure something out, but just then, none of them had any answers.

Eventually Max tells them he has something to do and they let him go on home. Isobel is still worried though. She pleads with Michael again.

“Talk to Max, see if he’ll explain what he’s feeling in a way that will make sense.” She says.

Michael tells her he’ll work on it and they part ways. Then he goes home and crashes. After being up more than twenty four hours it makes sense. He does check his email before bed and there’s nothing there.

The next morning he’s finishing packing. Everything is down off the walls and into boxes. The pieces of the ship are tucked away neatly as well. He doesn’t have many belongings, but those are what matter most. He finds some old high school pictures that he flips through quickly. There’s one of him and Alex with guitars and without consciously thinking about it, he looks at his ruined hand. He missed being able to lose himself in music. 

As he’s loading the last of his belongings into his truck, Alex pulls up. Michael doesn’t think he can handle Alex just then, but he doesn’t have much of a choice. 

“Where are you gonna go?” Alex asks as he comes up to the truck.

Michael doesn’t turn around at first. “Tennessee.”

“Really?” Alex asks.

“No. No, there are a couple of people who still need me here. Pick up, uh, work at the junkyard till I figure something else out.” Michael tells him. He continues to load the truck not wanting to look at Alex for too long. He’s too vulnerable.

“Good.” Alex says softly.

“Good?” Michael asks. He leans back against the truck, confused and hurt.

“I spent the night with some old friends. Made me think about… I don’t know. Who I was when this started. Before I went to war.” Alex says haltingly.

“Where I stand nothing’s changed.” Michael’s lips purse. He doesn’t want everything to come flooding out.

Alex laughs without humor. “Yeah. Including the way you look at me. That’s a problem for me, Guerin. ‘Cause every time you look at me, I’m seventeen again. And I forget that the last ten years even happened. And then you look away and I remember all over again. And it almost kills me every time.”

“I never look away.” Michael shakes his head at Alex. “Not really.”

Alex seems to shake himself and turns to go, but instead of heading for his car, he’s heading for the Airstream. Michael grabs him by the arm. “What are you doing?” He asks.

But Alex doesn’t answer. They just stand there looking at each other and something inside clicks for Michael. He follows Alex in and closes the door behind them, locking it. Then he turns to Alex in the small space and Alex runs a hand down his chest before drawing him into a fiery kiss that knocks the wind out of him. He can’t think of anything except Alex in his arms.

He pulls back and just looks at Alex, looks his fill of him before pushing him down on the cramped little bed. He rips his shirt off before covering Alex and kissing him again. Alex is heat and desire and passion and he’s here. Right here. Michael can’t get enough of him. Can’t hardly believe they get to have this without money between them.

Michael strips Alex slowly, gives him time to remove his prosthetic, before diving back in, kissing a line down his body. They get their hands around each other, backs of their hands brushing with each stroke, it’s fast and hot and Michael has to bite his lips so he doesn’t come too fast. 

“I need you,” Alex says softly and Michael wants to give him anything. Everything. 

“You have me,” Michael promises. He reaches under the bed for lube and a condom. Alex takes the lube from him and starts prepping himself.

“I could do that.” Michael says.

Alex flashes him a smile. “You take too long.”

At that Michael huffs a laugh. “Fine, fine.” He rolls the condom on himself and when Alex is ready he rolls them over so he’s on top. 

“This okay?” Alex asks him.  
“Yeah.” Michael assures him.

“I’ll need a little support on this side.” Alex warns him, indicating his right side. Michael nods, he gets it. 

Then Alex slicks Michael’s cock with some more lube before lining it up behind him. Michael watches as the emotions flutter across his face. And then he’s sinking down onto Michael, taking him in, in one long slide. 

“Ahhh,” He sighs as he gets Michael fully seated inside him.

Michael has him by the hips, helping him keep his balance and his fingers tighten unconsciously at the soft sound he makes.

“You feel so good.” Alex whispers.

“You feel amazing.” Michael whispers back. 

Then Alex begins to move his hips. First in a little rocking motion that sends tingles up and down Michael’s spine. Then he lifts his hips up and comes down with a small twist. It makes Michael’s mouth dry. He doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. Thankfully Alex leans down to kiss him and Michael gets lost between the feeling of Alex’s tongue in his mouth and Alex’s ass clenching down around him. It’s a heady mix and sooner than he’d like he’s teetering on the edge.

“I can’t last.” Michael tells him in between kisses. He reaches for Alex’s cock but Alex beats him to it, jerking himself off fast and hard. 

“Don’t try.” Alex says.

It only takes moments but Alex starts to come over his hand between them and it drags Michael’s orgasm right out of him. He comes hard, pulsing deep inside of Alex.

Alex collapses beside him and Michael wraps him up in his arms, condom tossed somewhere toward to the trash hopefully. He really only cares about this. About Alex’s sleepy and sated expression. Michael thinks he should say something just then, but it sticks in his throat. They don’t talk but fall quickly asleep in each other’s arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Alex wakes to the sun streaming in through the curtains. He hadn’t meant to stay the night, but he’d fallen asleep in Michael’s arms. Michael is still sleeping and he looks so peaceful like that. He’s completely at ease in a way that Alex rarely sees him. Alex can’t help but reach for him in the stillness. To touch him, lay a kiss on his chest. It makes Alex positively ache with longing. Can they have something real or is it doomed from the start? Certainly last night had felt real. It hadn’t felt like a transaction. Michael slowly came to.

“You’re awake.” Alex murmurs.

“You stayed.” He whispers and then he smiles and it is so genuine that Alex’s chest actually hurts to see it.

“It was late, I was tired.” Alex tries.

Michael runs a hand over him, up his arm. “That’s why you stayed?” He asks, hope apparent in the question. 

Alex runs the pad of his thumb over Michael’s lower lip. That hadn’t been why he’d stayed. Michael in turn lays a kiss right over his heart, his hand running down Alex’s leg. He bends close for a kiss and just then a horn sounds outside. Someone is here!

Isobel calls out, “Hello, I have bagels!”

“Damn it!” Alex says, sitting up quickly.

“Whoa, relax man, it’s just Isobel.” Michael tries to assure him.

Alex is in a panic, though. “Wait, does she know about us? About you? About what we’ve been doing?” He asks. He can’t imagine being able to face her if she knew that Alex was sleeping with Michael, but not only sleeping with him, paying him for it too. Maria already knew and that was one too many people for Alex’s comfort.

“Would it be so bad of she did?” Michael wants to know.

“Yeah.” Alex says, pulling on his prosthetic.

Michael is out of the bed without another word.

“Guerin…” Alex wants to reach out to him, but he’s clearly pissed.

“Don’t worry about it.” He says as he pulls on his jeans. “You can Paypal me later. I’m sure you didn’t bring any cash with you last night.”

And then he’s gone out the door and Alex is left reeling. Paypal him? He expects to get paid for last night? Alex feels sick. That’s not what he’d meant, he just didn’t want anyone else to know. It was nobody's fucking business anyways, was it?

Alex dresses quickly but then finds he’s stuck. He can’t exactly walk out there if he wants to keep things under wraps, but he doesn’t want to just sit there for however long it takes to have bagels and talk about god knows what.

That’s exactly what he does though, and he’s all ready to tell Michael that he hadn’t meant to cheapen last night, and that he’s sorry for not wanting things out in the open, but Michael doesn’t come back. After about thirty minutes he just gets in his truck and leaves.

So Alex leaves too. He gets in his jeep and he goes home. He thinks about talking to Maria or maybe even Liz, but decides not to. Michael had made things pretty clear, so Alex pulls up the info for the escort company and considers Paypaling the money right then and there. But then he thinks better of it. Maybe there’s still a chance to salvage things.

He decides to wait. To try and talk to Michael about last night to see if he can clear the air before actually giving in and sending the money.

That evening is the third annual veteran’s fundraiser at the drive-in. They’re showing Mars Attacks!, and Alex had already decided to go. Maybe he’ll see Michael there and they’ll have a chance to talk.

Alex dresses carefully that night. Not in fatigues because that will piss his father off, but in a button down and jean jacket. In a way it’s like putting on armor. He wants to look good so he can feel good before having to face Michael.

At the drive-in he parks and waits and walks around and there, he sees Michael, but it looks like he’s heading out. He’s putting his toolbox into the back of his truck. Oh and why does he have to look so good? Is he allergic to buttoning his shirt properly?

“Leaving so soon?” He asks.

Michael leans against the truck and looks him over. “Seen it before.” He says. He doesn’t sound as angry as he had been earlier, but he looks guarded. “I hate how it ends.”

Alex bites his lips and then goes for it. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll split this sixer with you, if you let me watch from here.” Then he pulls down the back of Michael’s truck for them to sit on. He hops up and Michael looks hesitant, like he’s going to say no for just a moment. Then he grabs a beer and sits down on the other end of the tailgate without saying a word.

There’s time though, Alex thinks, for them to talk. The movie can’t start until it gets dark anyway and that’s at least an hour away. For now they sit in companionable silence and Alex tries to come up with a way to broach the subject. He wants to make things right between them before things get further out of hand.

Eventually Alex gets hungry and offers to go grab some corn dogs for them. Michael asks for extra mustard and Alex heads off. It’s starting to get dark now and they still haven’t talked, but Alex is having trouble ruining the quiet peace they seem to have struck. How does one say, I wasn’t trying to pay for sex last night, I just wanted it to be real between us? It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure.

He walks toward the concession stand and there, finally, he sees his father. He hasn’t had time to look into it, but since he’s been home, his father has been acting weird. More so than usual. Alex fully intends to find out what he’s up to. But right now he just wants to get through this night. He watches his father playing with a little kid and it makes his stomach twist. 

“Heartwarming.” He says before turning to walk away.

His dad follows him, though. “Hey, maybe you ought to call it a night, huh? Use the evening to educate yourself on how to properly represent your country.”

It’s clear his dad isn’t just referring to the fact that he’s dressed as a civilian. Alex follows his gaze. He’s talking about Michael.

“Do I embarrass you, Dad?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at his father.

“You are a decorated purple heart airman with three deployments under his belt. Guerin is arrested once a week for gambling and bar fighting. Not to mention other illegal activities he’s been accused of. Seems to me the only one you're embarrassing is yourself, son.” He father tells him before walking off.

Alex takes a second to let that sink in before continuing on to get the corndogs. He isn’t going to let his dad get under his skin, even if he knows exactly what type of _illegal activities_ his dad was referring to. Alex didn’t know if Michael was seeing other clients currently and though a part of him was desperate to find out, the rational part of his brain said that until they were together it was none of his business what Michael did with his time. 

Once he had the corndogs in hand, he turned back to see a man standing with Michael. He watched as money traded hands and Alex felt himself go cold all over. What was he seeing? Were they setting up a time to meet later? Or had they already been together? The guy was a little older but in a hot way and thinking about him with Michael made the world tilt under Alex’s feet.

Not his business, he tries to tell himself, but it isn’t working. He knows it’s just jealousy but he can’t stop the angry knot of tension that’s set up residence in his gut. He can’t stand this feeling. Thinking about it was one thing, but seeing it was another.

So Alex doesn’t head straight back but takes a walk around the drive in to cool his head. It isn’t working though. Try as he might he can’t stop thinking about what his father had said. He had a reputation to uphold and being with Guerin was jeopardizing that. And he hates thinking that way, hates it. It makes him feel small and stupid that he can’t just be open to whatever was happening between them, whatever had happened between them. He’d paid hadn’t he? Twice so it’s not like he could say it was the pressure of seeing Guerin standing there that first night. 

He can’t stop his head from spinning so he ditches the now cold corn dogs and decides to go see what Michael has to say, maybe he is wrong about what he saw.

When he gets back to the truck, Michael is closing it up. He opens his driver’s side door and Alex stops him from climbing in by saying, “Hey.”

Michael looks at him a moment and then says, “You wanna go for a ride?”

“This isn’t going to work out, Guerin.” Alex says. He feels angry and hurt and jealous, but mostly just mad at himself for saying that.

Michael just shakes his head like he knew this was coming.

“I can not ignore what I saw tonight.” Alex tells him. “I saw that guy pay you.”

Michael throws his keys into the truck, angry. “Yeah, occasionally I pawn a spool of copper wire from the junkyard for little extra cash.” 

Alex can’t believe that’s what he saw though. He knows it was something else. He’s sure of it. The way that guy had looked at Guerin. He’s sure. He scoffs at Michael.

“Who cares?” Michael wants to know.

“I do! I’m an airman. I can’t be with a criminal.” Alex says.

“That didn't stop you before. All my life, the system has put me at the mercy of criminals. I’m just trying to survive it.” 

Alex doesn’t have anything to say to that.

“Guess you’re still the guy just looking for any excuse to walk away, huh?” Michael says.

“Maybe.” Alex admits. “And you’re still so good at giving them to me.” Alex turned to walk away, into the retreating crowd.

He felt like shit for the things he’d said and felt, but there was no taking it back now. He would Paypal Michael the money he owed him and leave it at that.

Driving home Alex feels like the biggest asshole. He’d known what he was getting into that first night, so how could he blame Michael now? It’s just that thinking about MIchael with someone else is driving Alex mad.

He’s almost home when the lights on the cabin in the distance wink out and now he’s got more pressing issues to think about. Like getting the little generator up and running. So he puts his feelings about Michael on the backburner for now. He’s got to get the lights and a.c. up and running if he’s going to be comfortable and then he can think about the whole Michael situation again. 

Even thinking it, he knows it’s crazy. He won’t be able to stop thinking about Michael, but he needs to try. So that’s what he does. He tries.

Later that night, tired and hurt, Alex lies in bed thinking about Michael and everything that had passed between them. Hw sends a balance inquiry to Michael’s escort service and falls into a fitful sleep waiting for a reply.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very episode heavy, so forgive me for that. The next chapter should get us back to our regular storyline.

The first thing Michael does is send a quick email to the escort company that he won’t be expecting payment from “Rick”, the balance should stay at zero. He knows now that he only asked for payment out of anger. They’d had such a great night together, one that Michael thought was hopeful, and then that hope had been dashed to the ground. Alex was still in the closet, and as of last night wanted nothing to do with him. The least he could do was cut ties as cleanly as possible and not accept money for something he’d considered serious.

The next thing he does that morning is answer Isobel’s call. He thumbs open the phone to answer. “Hey.” He says.

“We have to check on Max. I have a feeling he’s behind the blackout.” Isobel tells him. She sighs into the phone, clearly concerned.

“I have a feeling you may be right.” He agrees. Max’s troubles have been building and this may be some kind of pressure release, though Michael wouldn’t know until they saw him. “I’ll come pick you up, we can drive over together.

“Thank you, Michael.” She says. Michael doesn’t get very many thank yous so he accepts this one as best he can.

“See you soon.” Then he thumbs the phone back off.

If Max was behind the power outage then they were going to have to figure out some things and fast.

He drives to Isobel’s house and she’s already outside waiting for him when he gets there. Isobel hops in, buckles in, and they are off. Going the speed limit, but only just. Michael has a bad feeling and if Isobel does too, well then, something is definitely up.

When they pull up to Max’s house, Max is outside loading some water bottles into his jeep. He looks tired and worn out and not in the good kind of way. More like he hadn’t slept all night.

“Whew, you going on the run deputy?” Michael teases trying to diffuse the tension of the moment. Max already looks like his guard is up.

“Gonna bring these supplies into town. It’s just water, food.” Max starts, clearly avoiding the obvious. 

Michael isn’t going to let him get away with that. “Yeah, we assume you’re the reason every transformer in town’s blown. Did you rage out again?”

Max huffs. “Yeah. But, it’s gone now. I’ve been raging out for days and I caused all this destruction and I feel better.”   
Isobel is looking through the contents of Max’s jeep. “So you’re, uh, donating Catcher in the Rye to assuage your guilt?” She looks at him skeptically.

“TVs are down, figured the hospital could use a few book.” Max says.

“Yeah, well, when you resurrected Liz or healed her or whatever, you must have absorbed some kind of destructive energy. Now that you released it…,” Michael drops his voice to a whisper, “You’re better.”

Max doesn’t look amused, but then Michael isn’t joking.

“So, what happened? To piss you off again. She didn’t like your mixtape?” Michael asked.

“Wait you guys, you guys didn’t get my voicemail?” Max asked, taking off his sunglasses and looking at both of them.

Isobel shakes her head. “Cell service is down.” 

“Liz confronted me last night. I don’t know how she found out, but she knows. She knows that rosa was killed by an alien.” Max tells them.

“Dammit!” Michael says, kicking at the ground. It causes a short burst of energy that lifts the back end of the jeep off the ground several inches.

“Okay,” Isobel says, holding up her hands, “Alright, so what’s the plan?”

“Look, this blackout is my fault, okay? So let me drop these off and then I will find Liz and I’ll confess.” Max throws his hands up in defeat. “Look, she already thinks I did it. And if she keeps digging, eventually she’s going to learn everything. I am out of options here.”

“Well, I’m not.” Isobel says. “I can use my abilities to influence her to go.”

They look at each other for a moment in silence wondering if that is the right move, if it can be done.

“We should talk about this.” Max says. “Let’s sit.” He offers. The three of them go to sit on his patio and it’s tense. No one says anything at first and all Michael can think is that they need to get Liz out of town soon before the truth really does come out, about Rosa’s death.-

“So what is it like exactly? When you get into someone’s head?” Max is the first to speak, directing his question at Isobel. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.

“No it-it doesn’t hurt. It’s umm… It’s a place where I have ultimate power. I make a suggestion and someone else’s thought or memory just kind of floats to the surface. If I’m strong enough, I can change it. Influence it.” Isobel explains.

“I don’t know if I want you to violate Liz like that.” Max says, cencern clear in his voice.

Michael and Isobel share a glance. “Maybe it’ll help her. Remind her what exists outside Roswell. Make her stop pressing an old bruise.” Michael suggests.

Max sighs at that and looks away. “Will she forget me?” He asks quietly.

“No.” Isobel shakes her head. “Just how she feels about you.”

“Well, she feels like I’m a murderer, so…” Max tells them.

They all stop talking as Cam pulls up in a patrol car. “Playin’ hookie Evans? Been covering for you with Valenti all morning.”

“Sorry.” Max says. “Was a rough night.”

“Yeah, well, when people are denied AC and cold beer in this town, they start committing crimes for fun, so grab your boots and your badge.” She doesn’t wait for his answer, but rolls up her window and pulls away.

“What do you want to do about Liz?” Isobel asks him once it’s safe.

“What I wanted stopped mattering a long time ago. Do it. Get inside her head. Send her away.” Max says and then he turns to head into his house. He does exactly as Cam asked him to do, because he comes back out in uniform a few minutes later and hops into his jeep with just a backward glance at Michael and Isobel.

Once he’s gone, Michael leans back with a sigh and looks at Isobel. “I thought you weren’t strong enough to change Liz’s mind last night.

“That’s why we’re going to the Wild Pony. So I can practice.” Isobel explains as she stands.

Michael stands up too. “You didn’t tell Max how Liz really feels about him.” He says.

Isobel looks off into the distance down the road where Max just drove away. “It’ll hurt less if he doesn’t know.”

Michael rubs a hand over his face. He’s not so sure about that, but he trusts her judgement more than his own right now. He’s not been making the best decisions lately as it is.  
The drive to the bar is mostly quiet. He lets Isobel pick a radio station because he knows it makes her happy and he doesn’t mind her music so much. Not that he would admit to that under any circumstances. Though the sly little satisfied smile she gives him says she already knows he doesn’t mind.

Driving gives Michael time to think and lately that hasn’t been the best idea. He thinks a lot about the danger they are in with Liz. He thinks a lot about Alex and what a mess he’s made. If only he’d refused the money to begin with then he wouldn’t be in the situation his in now. 

Somehow he needed to reach out to Alex, but it didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Alex had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with Michael. And that hurt. He believed the very worst about Michael and Michael let him. How do you come back from something like that?

When they get to the bar they are pleased to see it really is still open despite the blackout. The parking lot is already full. Michael parks and gives Isobel one last look. 

“Don’t worry.” She says. “I have everything under control.”

“Fine, but if we’re going to do this, then we’re drinking.” He says.

“You can, but I need to keep my wits about me.” She tells him.

“Fine.” He agrees.

The bar is lit with candles all over the inside and Isobel hangs back as Michael walks to the bar. Maria is serving another customer so Michael tries to sneak a bottle of liquor while Maria’s back is turned. It’s only a half hearted theft and she catches him at it anyway.

“Hey, that’s a health code violation.” She calls out from the other end of the bar. 

“Ohhhh, yup. Thought it would go well with your disregard for the fire code.” Michael says as he takes a swig straight from the bottle.

“Didn’t I ban you for life?” Maria asks, wiping down the bar.

“Mm, you did, about twice a week.” Michael reminds her.

“You enjoy that?” She asks, motioning to the bottle in his hands.

“So good.” He tells her.

“Good.” She smiles at him. “You owe me eighty four dollars. You think I don’t know your game? You come in here when you’ve drunk enough to kill that dramatic cowboy angst, you start a fight, so you get kicked out before you pay. You can’t swindle a mercenary Guerin. I keep a tab.”

She says all of this leaning closer and closer as though telling him a secret. “But I got one thing you can do for me to pay off your debt.” Maria tells him.

“Oh yeah?” Michael asks.

“Get Regina George out of here, and make sure she never comes back.”

Michael turns to look at Isobel who appears to be deep in conversation with Hank of all people. She must have begun her practice already.

“Wow. I’m jealous DeLuca. I thought I was your least favorite customer.” He says turning back around.

“You know. Stiff competition.” Maria says with a grin.

Hank comes up to order then and Michael pours himself a glass from the bottle he’s still holding.

“Another beer, Hank? Maria asks.

“Raspberry Cosmopolitan with a twist for me and a water for the lady.” He said and Michael has to bite his cheek to keep from laughing. He shoots Isobel a quick glance before turning back to Maria.

“Right. Coming up.” Maria looks skeptical, but turns to make the drink all the same.

Once Hank has his drink in hand, Isobel steps out from where she’s been sitting and sways a bit on her feet. Maria goes to her and Michael lets her. He watches from a safe distance wondering just what Isobel plans to look for in Maria’s mind. Apparently she’s already got Hank making charitable donations over the phone, so there’s no telling what she has planned for Maria. In the meantime he drinks and tries not to think about the way Alex sounds when he’s being thoroughly kissed.

Michael is deep into this train of thought when he realizes things might be getting out of hand with Maria and Isobel.

Isobel is laughing humorlessly. “Real? You’re a bar psychic.”

Michael gets up from his seat and heads toward them. “Okay, hey, let’s all just…”

“If you say, calm down, I will remove your liver and sell it for pennies.” Maria tells him in no uncertain terms. “I gotta make Hank a daiquiri. When I get back, be gone.”

When she leaves, Michael turns to Isobel. She still isn’t looking very steady on her feet. “You alright?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I don’t get it. It’s like she can make nice with Mr. All Lives Matter over there, but she thinks I’m the devil?”

“Don’t, don’t, don’t do this. Don’t get distracted.” Michael tries to get her back on task. They were here for one thing.

“No.” She says. “I’m completely on mission here. I just need a more complicated target than Hank. Maria DeLuca will do. She’s hiding the truth about why she doesn’t like me. Let’s see if I’m strong enough to pull it out of her.” Isobel gives him a twisted smile.

So Michael leaves her to it and goes to set up a game of pool with his bottle of whiskey. He’s going to keep an eye on them though, make sure Isobel doesn’t need him to step in again. The game keeps his mind off of Alex but it only lasts a few minutes because Isobel passes right out behind him.

“Isobel!” He runs to her, cradling her head and checking to see if she’s okay. “Izzie,” He says, shaking her ever so slightly. Her nose is bleeding, she’s clearly overextended herself.

“Alright, I think she’s had enough, Michael.” Maria says helpfully.

“Okay, come on.” He says when she opens her eyes and looks at him. He’s so relieved that he doesn’t even say anything to Maria as he takes her out of there.

Isobel is unsteady on her feet so Michael keeps his arm around her on the way to the truck. He gets her into the passenger side and buckled in, then goes around to the driver’s side. By the time he climbs in, Isobel is back out. She stays that way all the way to Max’s place. So he carries her in and lays her on the little sofa, covering her with a blanket. Michael checks her breathing and her pulse before going to find a bottle of nail polish remover for her to drink. 

Then he begins to careful wipe away the blood from under her nose. She comes around and looks up at him.

“Why did she hate me?” She asks, her voice sounding strained and sad.

“Here, drink this.” He says, retrieving the bottle of acetone and holding it out for her.

“No.” She says, pushing it away.   
“Drink it.” He tries but she shakes her head.

“I need to know why she hated me. Rosa Ortecho. She was avoiding me on the day she died and I don’t know why.”

“You can’t get inside the mind of a dead girl, Isobel.” He tells her. “Besides, we made a deal remember? We never talk about that night. We never ask questions.” He adds in a whisper.

Isobel doesn’t answer him, but closes her eyes and slips back out, asleep. It takes about thirty minutes, but when she wakes up again she drinks the bottle of nail polish remover and is more herself. 

“I could use some air.” She tells him. So they go together and sit on the back of his truck and look at the night sky, waiting for Max, but not really knowing when he’d be there.

“I used to look in the sky, when we were kids and hope something up there would save me.” He admitted, leaning back.

“I used to look around at the people of this town and hope for the same thing.” Isobel says.

“We have each other.” Max tells them as he walks up. “That’s it.” He looks down at the ground for a moment. “Kyle knows about me. Never should have told Liz the truth. Now our secret is gonna spread. 

Michael runs a hand over his face and Isobel stands, shaking her head. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to change Liz’s mind, Max. And we tried, I just, uh… I think we need more time.”

“We don’t have more time.” Michael says sadly as he shakes his head.

“We’ll figure something out.” Max says.

“No.” Michael tells them. “We’re not gonna do anything. Kyle, Liz, Grant frigging Green. They all want the same thing, a little green man that they can put in a cage.”

“You’re right.” Max agrees. “I’ll tell Liz it was me.”

“No, but thank you. I’m not going to let you martyr yourself. You got a good life, Max.”

“Yeah.” Max scoffs.

“You do.” Michael says. “Isobel, you got Noah. I got nothing besides some old scrap metal and an escort service that's just as empty as you both believe it is. There is no point in all three of us going down when only one of us did the deed.”

Isobel kneels before him, the worry clear on her face. “No, Michael, we stick together.”

He shakes his head at her. “Liz Ortecho’s looking for a murderer. Let’s give her one. I’m gonna confess. After all… I’m the one that killed those girls.”

In the distance the lights of roswell blink on like a sign.

When no one has anything to say, Michael hops up. “Come on.” he says to Isobel. “Let’s get you home.”

Isobel goes with him willingly, still shocked at his words, he thinks and Max tells them they can talk about it again tomorrow. Michael doesn’t plan on continuing the conversation. He’s got a plan and he’s going to stick to it. It’s the best thing for all of them.

The drive to Isobel’s house is silent. They don’t talk and they don’t bother with the radio. He waits outside her house until she’s in then drives back to the junkyard alone. It’s late when he gets back and he’s tired, but there’s an email alert on his phone so he pulls it up as he’s laying down in bed. It’s from the service.

Rick/Alex has gone ahead and put money on his account, even though Michael said there was no balance. That means Michael now owes him and it gives him a weird feeling to be in that position. Maybe they could just refund the money, refuse to take it, but Michael knows the company doesn’t really work like that. They would rather see a repeat customer than one taking his money and going elsewhere.

So Michael takes a few breaths that are meant to be relaxing and pulls up a new email. 

_Alex,_

_You really didn’t owe me that money for the other night. I was being cruel when I said you did._

A new email comes in ten minutes later.

_Michael,_

_I want things to be even between us._

Michael didn’t have an answer to that. Things weren’t even between them. Things were totally unbalanced. That’s what happened when one person pays another for sex. Michael is used to it, though, and really, soon enough none of this was going to matter. He was going to go to prison for killing those girls, probably for life. Things like who owes who money for sex weren’t going to matter any more.  
 _Alex,_

_Let’s just say I owe you and leave it at that._

Michael turned off his phone after that. It was a stupid thing to say because it wasn’t clear if he was going to try and pay Alex back or if he owed him sex, but that’s how Michael felt anyway. He felt unclear and uncertain and mostly like he wished he could turn to Alex during all of this bullshit going on. What would Alex really think if he knew the truth about Michael. Would he be among the first to line up and study the freak? Michael liked to think he wouldn’t, but the truth was, he didn’t know Alex as well as he’d thought or they wouldn’t be having such a major miscommunication now.

He couldn’t sleep that night, but lay in his bed thinking of all the ways he’d fucked up his life and how now, at the end of it all, he was going to do the only right thing he could do, and turn himself in to save Isobel and Max. He had one good thing, he could give himself up for them, for the people he cared about. That was all he had.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex has taken the day off, he needs time to think about how he’s going to keep doing desk duty for his father, when all he wants is to be as far away from him as possible. It gives him time to catch up on his chores around the cabin and to worry about Michael and everything that’s passed between them. 

He’d gotten an email back saying Michael owed him and though that should be the last thing Alex wants, he can’t help but think as long as Michael owes him, there is some tie between the two of them. Is that what Alex wants? Some connection? Even though he’d told Michael the complete opposite, now, having had time to think about it, he doesn’t actually care what his father thinks of him, does he?

It’s a lot and Alex realizes he isn’t going to figure it out in one morning, so he decides to table it for now. The idea that Michael owes him, keeps running through his head, but he lets it fall into the background as he does his laundry.

Around eleven some shuffling out on the porch draws his attention. At first it sounds like it might be an animal, but Alex doesn’t know what would be out in the daylight like this, so he opens the door quietly and peers out.

It’’s Kyle and it looks as though he’s about to break the window.

“You could try knocking. It’s less of a felony, but it’s also less dramatic so depends on what you're going for.” He tells him.

Kyle looks completely surprised to see him, which may have something to do with Alex always parking in the back.

“Come on in, you can tell me what brings you out this far.” Alex offers.

Kyle follows him in, turning around and giving the place a once over. “I’d forgotten about this place.” He says. “Our dad’s old hunting cabin.”

“Your dad’s technically.” Alex corrects. “So, you wanna tell me why you drove all the way out here?”

“Legacy, I guess.” Kyle says. “This place wasn’t part of the assets in his will. Guess I wanted to know what happened to it.”

“When I got back from Iraq, he left me the key and a letter telling me I could have the place. I figured that you knew.”

Kyle shook his head. “No. Why would he leave this place to you? Instead of me or my mom?”

“I… I don’t know. When I got back, he’d already passed. I never got a chance to ask.” Alex tells him.

Kyle pulls out a keychain and holds it out in his hand for Alex to see. “You recognize this?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Alex says, taking a look. “Keychain looks like mine, but that key is too small for the door.”

“Mind if I poke around and see if I can find the lock? Then I’ll take off.” Kyle looks around the room, already hunting for where the key might go.

Alex thinks it can’t do any harm since he’d come all this way. “When I got here, I put everything that reminded me of the good ol’ days in the closet. Go nuts.” Alex decides to leave him to it and go sit on the porch. He doesn’t need any more memories haunting him today.

There’s a spot on the side of the cabin where Jim had set up a small table and chairs to look out into the desert years ago. They were starting to rust and would probably need to be painted or replaced soon, but that was where Alex gravitated now. He wanted to stay out of Kyle’s way and he had a lot on his mind.

Mainly Michael and the way things had gone down between them. Maybe Michael really had been trading copper wire, though that wasn’t technically legal either, to steal from the dump, but it was a good sight better than the thought of him taking money for sex out in the open like that. The truth was, Alex was jealous of the thought of him with anyone else. Which was hardly fair seeing as Alex had told him things weren’t going to work out. 

Alex sits and thinks about Michael and about emailing him for close to an hour and all the while Kyle hasn’t come out. Eventually Alex shakes himself from his reverie and goes to check on Kyle.

He finds him sitting on the couch with a fishing reel and looking nostalgic. “That’s not a lock.” Alex says.

“Yeah, got distracted.” Kyle tells him. “Do you remember that night your dad made us set up that tent to teach us extreme weather survival. We found a way to sneak back inside. We were a good team.”

“Yeah. Until you grew one chest hair and instantly became a nightmare of a bully. Like some bro jock from an eighties movie.” Alex says, shaking his head.

Kyle has the decency to look ashamed. “I don’t know why I was like that.”

“Because I was gay. People started to notice, and you were afraid that, if you were nice to me, people would think you were gay, too.” Alex explains. He’d figured it out years ago. 

“I’m sorry… I--I didn’t think that…” Kyle started.

“Don’t.” Alex interrupts him with a humorless laugh. “Please. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been through a lot worse than your locker room taunting at this point.”

Kyle looks uncomfortable with that, like he doesn’t quite know what to say and he stands with a sigh.

“How much longer do you think is gonna take?” Alex asks.

Kyle bends to pull the drawer out of the coffee table. “I don’t… “ The whole drawer comes out on accident. “Whoa. Dammit.” 

Alex just rolls his eyes. But Kyle looks concerned.

“Whoa.” He says. Alex has no idea what he could be looking at. “Hey, uh, um, help me move this.”

Together they lift the coffee table out of the way revealing a hatch of some kind underneath it.

“What the hell?” Alex asks. 

“Did you know about this?” Kyle wants to know.

“No, dude.” Alex shakes his head taking a step back. “Okay so this is the point in the horror movie where the audience starts screaming, no don’t do that.”

“What’s the worst we can find?” Kyle asks.

“What… literal skeletons!” Alex tells him. 

But that doesn’t deter Kyle at all and he begins to try and open the hatch. Alex sighs, resigned, and steps forward to get a better look as Kyle opens the hatch door and they both look down at a ladder into darkness.

At the bottom of the ladder Kyle feels around until he finds a light switch. When the light goes on, Alex can’t quite believe his eyes. They seem to be standing in a girl’s bedroom and he has no idea why. It doesn’t feel right.

“I think I’d prefer skeletons.” Kyles says, warily.

Together they walk further into the room, looking around. There is a bed on the far wall with two nightstands with lamps. A chest at the end of the bed and a wardrobe. All of it very clearly meant for a girl.

Alex notices the symbol from the keyrings is punched out of one of the lamps but he doesn’t know why or what the symbol means.

“Why did you really come here?” Alex asks.

“I’m looking into Rosa Ortecho’s death.” He says plainly.

“Liz’s sister? The DUI?” Alex can’t imagine why anyone would be looking into that when it seemed so straight forward. Tragic but straight forward.

“Liz has questions.” Kyle explains. 

“What, you think that your dad had something to do with it?” Alex guesses. 

“I think Rosa and my dad were having an affair.” Kyle admits. 

Alex immediately rejects the idea. “No.” He shakes his head. “Your dad was a good guy. You know why he left me this house, and not you? Because you were fine. You were popular. You were at the top of your class in med school. Your mom loved you. I wasn’t loved. My mom was gone. My dad was a homophobic abusive dick. And your dad saw it. He left me these keys so that I would have a place to go. He wasn’t the type of person who would take advantage of a desperate teenager. He would help them.”

Together they stand in silence looking around and trying to figure it out. Alex opens the wardrobe and finds medical supplies of some sort. “Look.” He tells Kyle. He pulls out an I.V. bag and passes it to Kyle.

“This is for detoxing.” Kyle says. “My dad had been through the twelve steps. A couple times. Maybe… he was trying to keep her in here to get her clean? Or maybe I’m just thinking wishfully again and I need to get a grip.”

Alex takes another look around. “Something isn’t right.” Finally voicing his concern.

“Uh, yeah. Wrong would be closer to my choice of words.”

The chest at the end of the bed catches Alex’s eye and he bends down to look at it. There’s a small lock on it. “It’s locked.” He tells Kyle. “Your key.”

Kyle brings the key over and it does in fact fit the lock. So he turns it and pulls the lock off the chest. He opens it slowly revealing pictures, a teddy bear, a baby blanket, and other odds and ins. The picture on top catches his eye and he picks it up, looking at it closely. 

“I’d recognize his hands anywhere.” Kyle says. The picture is a man holding a baby in the blanket that’s in the chest. The blanket has an embroidered “R” on it. “My dad didn’t have an affair with Liz’s sister.” He says quietly. “He had an affair with her mom. That’s why he was trying to help Rosa sober up. That’s why he was never the same after she died. Rosa was his daughter.”

Kyle closes the chest back and puts the lock back in place. Then, after another quick search of the room doesn’t turn anything up they decide to leave it for the time being. They climb back out of the bunker and close the hatch, placing the table back over it.

They stand in the living room facing each other. Kyle sighs heavily before saying, “I’m sorry. For dragging you into all this.”

“Kyle.” Alex says softly. “How many men do you know who were a father to any and every kid who needed one? That’s who Jim Valenti was. And he was yours. The dad I got was a monster. Is a monster.”

“Because he sent you off to war?” Kyle asks.

“My father was my war.” Alex tells him, sitting down on the couch. It’s dark outside the window behind him. “And your dad saw it, when we were kids. Do you remember the summer that we built the treehouse?”

“Yeah.” Kyle says.

“That’s the summer that my dad found out I was gay. He knew before I did. He thought he could beat it out of me. Jim tried to intervene. But you can’t make someone stop hating someone. And my dad hated me.” Alex fell silent after that. There didn’t seem to be much more to say.

“You’ve got it wrong, you know?” Kyle interrupts his thoughts. “My dad didn’t leave you that key because he thought you were weak. He would’ve never thought that about you. You’re the bravest person I know.” 

Alex looks up at him, surprised by his words. Kyle offers him a small smile before turning to leave. He closes the door softly behind him leaving Alex alone with his thoughts once more. He sighs heavily and leans against his hands. There was something about the bunker that still felt strange to Alex. Something they were missing. Why was there a bunker to begin with? Before it was made into a room for rosa to detox in, what purpose had it served?

He just has more questions. So he decides to go for one last look, by himself. Moving the table is a little bit difficult but he pushes it mostly with his good leg until he can get the hatch open, and then he climbs slowly back down into the darkness. When he flips on the lights the feeling hits him fresh. Something is off and he is going to figure out what it is.

Alex walks slowly toward the lamp with the symbol on it. He flicks it on and sees that it shines the symbol onto the wall. He pulls out his keys and confirms that it is the same spiral symbol. It looks a little like a sun with a moon nearby. In the center of the spiral is a notch out of the wall which gives him the idea to check behind it.

Lacking any sort of tool, Alex picks up his crutch and balances it in his hand. He punches the wall with the bottom of it until the wall begins to crumble away. Alex hits it several times until there is a sizable hole where the light is shining from the lamp.

He leans down and sees that there is something in the wall! So he reaches for it and carefully pulls it out. It’s dusty but smooth and as he dusts it off it shimmers and glows in a variety of colors and symbols. It’s a part to something larger, that much is clear. And the first thing Alex thinks looking at it, is that it’s not of this world.

Alex carries the piece back up the ladder and thinks of where to hide it for now. He’s going to look into it and see what he can find out about it and in the meantime he knows he needs to keep it safe and hidden. The only thing he can come up with is his backpack because he usually carries it with him and that way he can keep an eye on it wherever he goes.

After it’s tucked safe into the backpack, Alex sits down in the couch once more. He runs a hand through his hair and wishes he had someone he could call. He had friends, he knew he could trust, but this felt different. This felt big. He didn’t want to drag anyone into it until he knew what it even was. 

He especially wanted to see Michael and for a few minutes he even held his phone in his hand and thought about sending an email. A text would be better but he didn’t have Michael’s number in his phone. 

In the end he does nothing. What would he say. He wants desperately to see Michael, but he’s hurt him, or at the very least pissed him off. How wrong would it be to call in the debt just to get some face time? Very wrong, he decides. 

Alex doesn’t feel like dinner so he takes a shower and goes to bed. He tries his best not to think about how many mistakes he’s made with Michael and instead thinks about the mystery in his backpack and where it might lead.


	10. Chapter 10

Michael waits what he feels is a fair amount of time. Noah is angry and Isobel is going to have to face that on her own. He can’t get in the middle of it. When he finally hears the truck drive away, he cautiously steps back outside. Isobel is still there, sitting by the fire, wrapped in the blanket he’d lent her.

“You didn’t leave? He asks gently. “Where’d Noah go?”

Isobel takes a deep but shaky breath. “I’m a liar.” She says. “Uh, I’m just… so tired.”

Michael sits down in the other chair with a sigh. “Me too.”

“Everything I do, is a cover up. I don’t know how to feel about my husband because I don’t know how he feels about me. Because… he doesn’t know me, because I don’t know me, because everything I do is an act.” Isobel says, tears beginning to run down her face.

Michael leans forward. “Maybe it’s time…” He takes a deep breath. “We all tell the truth to the people we love.”

“Yeah.” Isobel answers softly. 

“Or the secrets are just gonna… tear us all apart.” He finishes.

“Well…” Isobel sniffles. “At least there are no more secrets between the three of us. Right?” She asks.

Michael can’t quite look at her. The ground is suddenly very interesting.

“Not anymore.” She whispers.

Still, Michael can’t look up. How can he lie to her right now when she’s so vulnerable? He hates the lies, but they were supposed to protect her, not make things worse. He shakes his head.

“What?” Isobel asks, leaning forward. “What is it, Michael?”

Michael closes his eyes and swallows hard. He stands up, unable to sit still.

“What’s the secret?” She presses.

Max is going to kill him, but it just seems right somehow. He has to tell her. “I didn’t kill those girls, Isobel. You know who did.” She shakes her head at him. “You’ve always known.”

“No.” Isobel whispers. 

Michael can’t quite believe he is going to do this. It feels important, though. And good. Like a weight is being lifted from him. One less lie, one less secret to carry around. He slowly explains what he saw that night. How everything went down, how it seemed like Isobel wasn’t even there, and finally how he had decided to lie to her when it was clear she didn’t even know what she’d done. It was just easier to take the blame than to hurt her with the truth.

Though he knows that’s exactly what he is doing now.

Isobel stands up too, leaning on the back of her chair. “I don’t understand.” She cries. “Why?”

“You’re never going to understand, because it wasn’t you.” Michael tries to assure her. 

“It was me! You saw it!” Isobel throws over the chair in her anguish.

“No!” Michael insists. “When I found you, when I found you with your hand on her… the way that you looked at me, it was like you were a different person.”

“Is that what we are? Killers?” Isobel asks, tears streaking her cheeks. “Max killed that guy in the desert. And I--I…”

Michael shakes his head at her again. He doesn’t have answers, but he never believed that Isobel was herself when she’d killed those girls.

She continues, though. “In our DNA? Are we just some type of murderous species, and our--our ship came in here to hurt people? We don’t know where we came from. We don’t know what we are!”

Michael reaches for her, needing to comfort her in some way. He lays his hand on her shoulder. Isobel takes several calming breaths before she can speak again.

“I haven’t had one of these blackouts since that night. Until now. That means it’s starting again. That means I’m dangerous.”

No. He doesn’t believe that. Can’t believe that.

“We’ve lived for ten years in a comfortable lie. It’s time to face the truth now. Hmm?”

There doesn’t seem to be much left to say after that. Michael pulls Isobel into a tight hug, trying to reassure her that he was there for her, no matter what. And more than that, he doesn’t believe she is a killer.

That night Michael gives Isobel the bed and he makes a pallet out of blankets on the floor. It’s not that they couldn’t both just curl up in the tiny bed together, it wouldn’t be the first time, it’s more that he feels she needs a little space. And while the Airstream doesn’t allow him to give her much space, he gives her what he can.

He lays there on the pallet thinking about everything. About secrets and lies. About Alex. About telling Alex the truth about who he is. He even picks up his phone at one point considering reaching out through email. Texting would be better but he doesn’t have Alex’s phone number. A stupid oversight on his part.

In the end he falls asleep with the phone on his chest, wishing there was a way to see Alex again, even after all the ugly things Alex said to him. Maybe that made him pathetic. Maybe he didn’t care.

Two days later the email comes in. It’s the escort service with two questions for him. Why isn’t he taking any of his regular clients and when is “Rick” going to use his credit?

He thinks about his answer carefully. If he’s being honest with himself he’s thought a lot about Alex and seeing him again, even if it was for pay. He’s come to the conclusion that he’s not ashamed of what he does and if it’s the only way he can see Alex, then so be it.

Michael emails the service back saying that he’s taking a semi hiatus for personal reasons and that he will let them know about “Rick” asap.

They won’t be happy with him, but the only reason Michael agreed to work with them is that he maintains full control of his schedule. So that means no one gets to force him to take on any clients.

He’s just thinking about how to approach things with Alex when he gets the second email. 

_Michael. It feels strange having to talk only through email. I realized I never got your number. Your company reached out to remind me that I have a positive balance in my account. Would you be willing to see me, or is it too late?_

Michael doesn’t have to think about his reply. He sends Alex his phone number and tells him that yes, he would be willing to see him. If that’s all he’s going to get, by god he’s taking it.

He gets a text from an unknown number and his heart jumps in his chest. Damn he’s a fool, but he can’t even care. He’s saves Alex’s number and then reads the text a second time.

_Alex: Will tomorrow be too soon? Should we meet at the same place?_

_Michael: Tomorrow is fine. I’ll meet you in the same place. The same time?_

_Alex: Same time.  
Michael: See you then, Alex._

Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

It is a little tricky getting away from Isobel. She knows he hasn’t been taking clients, though she doesn’t know about Alex specifically, and he doesn’t plan on enlightening her any time soon. He does feel a little bad when she pouts and doesn’t want to be left alone, but eventually he gets away. Isobel will be okay, he feels certain. He gets her to promise to order Chinese and watch Netflix on her phone. 

Michael finds himself nervous when he gets to the motel. The only way around that, he thinks to himself, is to keep things as professional as possible. This is a transaction. It can’t be more. Not even in his head. Who was he trying to kid, though? Of course it is more than that, but Alex doesn’t need to know that. That is how he is going to stay sane.

He knocks on the door and waits for Alex to answer. When he does he steals Michael’s breath away in a deep red pullover and the tightest pair of jeans Michael has ever seen on him. 

“Hey.” Alex says softly. He looks a little nervous too.

“Hey.” Michael answers, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Oh. Come in.” Alex tells him, stepping back to give him room to walk past.

Alex locks the door and then turns to face him. For a moment neither of them say anything. For his part, Michael has no idea what to say, but Alex seems like he has something on his mind. He opens his mouth a couple of times before Michael’s escort expertise takes over for both of them.

“Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk.” Michael says soothingly.

“We don’t?” Alex asks. He looks a little confused.

“No. We both know why we’re here.” He says as he steps toward Alex. He reaches out and takes Alex’s hands in his own and squeezes them. “We don’t have to talk about anything that’s happened out there. We can keep it separate.”

“We can.” It’s not a question the way Alex says it. It’s acceptance.

“We can.” Michael assures him.

Alex sighs and bites his lip, thinking. “Okay.” He nods. “We keep it separate.” He agrees.

“Good.” Michael breathes. “Then let’s talk about what you want from this. We didn’t specify anything.”

Alex takes a look around the room and then sinks onto the end of the bed. “I didn’t really think that far ahead.” He admits. “Can we just start slow and see where it goes?” 

“Of course.” Michael tells him. He crosses the room to stand in front of Alex. Runs his hands over Alex’s shoulders, up to his jaw. Michael cups Alex’s face in his hands and tips it up so he can lean down and kiss Alex softly.

Fuck, it’s good. Just that little bit of contact. Michael wants to devour him. He reigns it in, though. Takes it slow, teasing Alex’s mouth open and gently easing them into a deeper kiss. Then he steps back and starts undoing the buttons of his shirt, shedding it to the floor before dipping back down to kiss Alex again.

Alex’s pullover comes off easily enough. They only part a moment before his shirt is lying discarded on the floor with Michael’s. Michael pushes him back and down, crawling over him and settling on top so they can kiss and explore each other more easily. Alex’s hands are everywhere, it seems. Clenching around his arms, holding to his shoulders, dragging down his back, pulling him closer, then closer again.

Michael rolls slightly to the side to reach for Alex’s fly and Alex mirrors his movement. They work together until they are down to nothing and Alex sits up to remove his prosthetic and lays it against the side of the bed for later. 

They come together like a storm then. No more slow hands, no more gentle kisses. Alex rolls them until he is on top, his tongue dipping into Michael’s mouth like he can’t get enough and MIchael for his part just hangs on as best he can, their hips grinding together. Even though it’s passionate and wild, there isn’t a sense of urgency to move past this point. 

Alex is enjoying this and Michael wants to give him whatever he wants. Wants to make it good, wants to prove they can have this and keep it apart from their daily lives, because dammit if Michael doesn’t need Alex like he needs air.

Finally, finally, Alex reaches for his cock and strokes him slowly, his thumb playing over the slit. It causes Michael to gasp into Alex’s mouth. He feels needy and almost like he’s lost control, but then he remembers that he doesn’t care if he’s in control right now or not, not with Alex kissing down his neck and moaning against his skin.

He takes Alex in his hand gently, his fingers playing over the length until Alex bucks against him and he takes pity on him, stroking surely, matching Alex’s movements on his own cock.

“I want to be inside you.” Alex finally says, and yes, god that sounds good. Anything, anything at all.

“Yes.” Michael says simply. He sits up to grab his jeans where he’s stashed a condom and lube just in case. 

“Do you want to do it, or do you want to watch me?” He asks. People usually prefer to watch him prep himself, but Alex reaches out a hand.

“Let me?” He asks.

Michael passes the condom and lube over and lays back down. This time on his stomach with his head pillowed on his arms.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” Alex asks him.

Michael doesn’t have an answer for that. He doesn’t know about gorgeous, but the words make his stomach flip all the same.

Alex is exceedingly gentle. It’s unnecessary, but Michael’s enjoying the feeling so he doesn’t say a word, just relaxes under Alex’s tender touch until he’s got three fingers curling inside him and his hips won’t stay still. He might be begging, but he doesn’t care about that.

“Okay, I got you.” Alex soothes. He pulls his fingers out slowly and Michael looks back at him.

“Where… where do you want me?” Michael asks.

“On top.” Alex says, licking his lips. Michael wants to kiss him.

Instead he sits up and watches as Alex lays down, situates himself on the pillows just so, then he reaches out for Michael and Michael is helpless to do anything except go. He climbs over Alex, situating his hips above Alex’s cock as Alex reaches down and rolls on the condom. Then he slicks it up with more lube and holds it steady so Michael can sink down over it until they are fully joined.

Michael sighs and Alex groans, his hands coming up to Michael’s hips. Slowly, Michael begins to rock his hips. He fills so full, wonderfully full, that he wonders why they haven’t done this like this before. Alex is biting his lip again and Michael can’t resist it any longer, he bends down and soothes his lip with his tongue, licking into his mouth, kissing him deep and slow, his hips only just starting to speed up as he moves up then down, rocks back then forth and repeats the whole thing again, all the while squeezing down on Alex as much as he can.

And oh but Alex is loud, he’s so vocal that Michael tries his hardest to keep the pace steady and slow to draw it out as long as possible.

“Fuck, Michael, yes. Just like that. Jesus.” He’s downright filthy and Michael has surely never been more turned on in his life.

“You like this.” He means it to be a teasing question, but it comes out a strangled whisper.

Alex is pinning him with his eyes, his hands clamped on Michael’s hips, meeting him thrust for thrust.

“God yes.” Alex breathes. “You’re incredible.”

That’s almost too much to handle right now. Michael needs something to hold on to so he raises his hands to his hair and holds on tight, the pain in his scalp a welcome distraction from the orgasm that’s already trying to creep up on him.

When he still doesn’t feel like he has enough to hold on to he leans down, placing his hands on Alex’s chest, his hips pumping almost out of control. He’s making little noises in the back of his throat and Alex is encouraging him between moans.

“Michael, Michael, don’t hold back.” He commands gently.

Michael couldn’t stop himself now if he tried. His hips are stuttering out of rhythm as he bounces on Alex’s cock, helplessly chasing the orgasm that’s roaring toward him at full speed. He hasn’t even touched himself yet.

Alex does it for him, stroking him off fast and hard, almost too hard and it makes Michael cry out. He comes in a rush, stilling over Alex as he moans low and long, shooting as Alex tightens his fist and strokes it out of him until he’s wrung dry.

Then all he can do is lay over Alex, trying to hold on as Alex pounds into him, chasing his own pleasure. Alex’s thrusting finally stills as he pulses deep inside Michael and for just a moment Michael is sorry there’s a condom between them. Michael can’t really catch anything so it isn’t strictly necessary, but maybe it makes Alex feel safer, and that’s what matters. He doesn’t know though because they never talked about it.

It doesn’t matter. What matters is kissing Alex now like his life depends on it. It’s like air to Michael. He needs it. Needs to know they are still in each other’s arms, still here, still real. That orgasm shook him to his core, in the best of ways, but still.

As the kiss slows down, Michael remembers that he’s supposed to be playing the professional here, not the lovestruck boyfriend. So regretfully he pulls back and smiles at Alex before pulling off and rolling to his side. He’s sore, but he feels fantastic, and all he really wants to do is go to sleep with Alex in his arms. Though he knows that can’t happen.

“That was amazing.” Alex huffs a little laugh as he sits up and reaches for his prosthetic.

“Yeah it was.” Michael answers. He goes about finding his clothes and getting dressed, passing Alex his clothes in the process, all the while smiling because dammit he just can’t stop.

“So, we should definitely do this again.” Alex says, once he’s dressed and on his feet.

“I’d like that.” Michale assures him. It’s true. God is it complicated as fuck, but it’s true. He wants whatever he can have. “Just text me, don’t worry about the email.” He says.

“Okay.” Alex agrees. He bites his lip again and looks thoughtful, like maybe he has something he wants to say, but Michael doesn’t think he can hear whatever it is just now.

“I’ll see you, Alex.” Michael says and heads for the door before Alex can say anything at all.

“Yeah, see you.” Alex says softly as Michael is closing the door behind him.

Michael takes a moment to breathe the cool night air before walking to his truck. Isobel will be waiting for him and he doesn’t really want to tell her who he has been with. So he drives slow. Grabs a coke and a burger on the way home. Drives the long way back and by the time he gets there she is asleep on the little bed, tucked into way too many blankets. He just grins at her and goes to get changed in his tiny bathroom.

Then he lays down on the pallet and considers what he’s just done. He finds he doesn’t have remorse about it, he doesn’t feel guilt or shame. Maybe some confusion, but that is just to be expected. It is one thing to say they will keep things separate and another to actually pull it off.

Still he is determined to make it work. 

He is also determined to get Isobel out of bed the next day once and for all. So he focuses on thinking about how to do that instead of remembering the way Alex felt inside him, and he eventually drifts off to sleep with several versions of a motivational speech in mind. If he dreams about Alex and making love to him, then nobody can really blame him for that, can they?


End file.
